The Potential of a Day

Chapter 18: Our Lucky Winner

Our Lucky Winner

          “We have a winner!” someone is yelling, as we walk back into the festival. I wonder what the game was, and what they won. There are fewer people about now; it’s getting late, there were many more on the beach and the few who are stay here, appear mainly to be here for the food. I wonder why my parents thought it would be such a good idea to come.

          Next to me, I hear Abby asking, “what do you want to play?” but I’m not really listening to her, I’m looking around, trying to answer that question myself. “Lily? Earth to Lily, what do you want to play?”

          “You choose,” I insist, shaking off the spacy feeling. And then, Abby is dragging me, off towards one of the booths. It’s one of those water gun games; the ones where you try to fill up a gauge before your adversary. It must have been several years since I played one of these; when I was eight or nine I believe, and went to a carnival a ways from here. I’m fairly certain I lost to Sephie that day.

          Abby and I station ourselves, ready with our water guns. On the booth keeper’s mark, we start firing. My friend wins; which appears to make her incredibly excited. I don’t know what the big deal is; all she wins is one of those huge swirl lollipops. “So what now?” I question, “there aren’t really all that many to play.”

          “There’s one of those weight guessing games over there; I thought those were only in the old movies. Come on, let’s go play.”

          “Sephie always said she wanted to do one of those; she loved those sorts of movies.”

          “Did she ever get to go?”

          “No she…she didn’t.”

          She’s dragging me over, but suddenly, I’m hit with it. Where I am and what’s going on. It’s completely out of the blue, and it cuts me in the gut like a knife; I am here, and Sephie isn’t. It just…it strikes me suddenly, the fact that I’m actually here, at a festival. I never allowed myself to come to these things. She died. And here I am, standing in the middle of a fair she never got to come to.

          It doesn’t make any sense to me. For some reason, I lived, and my sister; a girl far superior to me, didn’t. If she had lived, instead of me, everything would be so very different. Maybe my parents would be proud; maybe even more than proud. But for some odd, odd reason, I was the one to survive. And now I’ve decided to throw it away. Yet here I am; here, having fun at something Sephie will never experience.  

          “Lily, are you okay?” Abby calls back to me, hurrying to my side, her hand suddenly on my shoulder. Soon, I realize that is because I’m practically doubled over, with my hands gripping at my stomach. “Yeah,” I say, swallowing, “I’m fine. Really.” My back straightens out, and I’m brushing Abigail’s hand off my shoulder.

          “Are you sure?” she questions, her hand returning to its perch on my shoulder, “come on, we’re gonna go get you something to eat.”

          “No, Abby, really, I’m fine, I don’t need anything.”

          “Mrs. Simcoe!” Abigail is calling. And then my mother is there. Great. Just great. Now there’s no avoiding Abby’s demands to ‘help’ me. “What’s wrong, sweetie?” my mom asks me; I’m feeling crowded now, Abby and my mom are just so up in my face. For the first time this whole day, I’ve just snapped. Sephie is gone, and I’m here having fun at this damn festival. It isn’t fair. I’m supposed to be dead now. Things are supposed to be right now. But they aren’t.