'Why do I feel like bubblegum?' le me to Lucifer
'Why does she look like bubblegum?' le Lucifer to Beelzebub.
'Why is she dressed like bubblegum?' le Beelzebub to cronies.
'Well you wanted her pretty and everything,'- le cronies.
'This must be hell,' I said, looking at my pink frills and for some reason making the Beelzebub dude chuckle.
'Not far from the truth,' he said then turned to Lucifer, 'Well, I've got her here, like you asked me to, now you keep your part of the bargain.'
'You're talking to the devil kid,' Lucifer said, sounding bored, 'if I kept bargains, we would all be dancing among angels.'
The cronies snorted and broke into a laugh then suddenly hushed each other when Beelzebub shot them an angry glance.
'But we had a deal!' He shouted, and punched the bloody wall that suddenly grew cracks but immediately began to mend on its own.
'Even saints couldn't break this place,' Lucifer replied, 'you ought to know better.'
'You..' Beelzebub could not say more for Lucifer interrupted him.
'I mean think for a minute,' he said, 'if I really had to leave charge of hell to one of the princes, even then would it not simply be Mammon or Sathanus? You're too fresh- you know nothing of this place.'
'And it does?' Beelzebub pointed a pale, bony finger at me-
'For God's sake, I'm a person!' I exasperated, 'and what the...'
'Don't you dare!' Lucifer's voice boomed through the room and I'm sure my insides felt the pain that spaghetti must, when it's being rolled around a fork.
'Don't you dare use that word here,' he said.
'Lucifer stop!' Beelzebub said, but the pain inside my gut only increased.
'Lucifer, sir,' Beelzebub began with more deference, 'she's half mortal, remember?'
'Not like her face makes me forget,' Lucifer said and I could finally breathe. Man, the people here had some serious anger issues.
'I need to be somewhere at the moment,' Lucifer continued, 'You get her ready for the installation. And get her out of that hideous dress.'
'You actually mean to make her in-charge for the next 100 years?' Beelzebub laughed.
Lucifer didn't say anything but suddenly disappeared, leaving behind a seriously annoyed Lord of le flies.
'You're so dead,' he turned to me and said.
I just flashed a nervous smile-
'Hey! I have my teeth!' I cried suddenly- wow I didn't expect to say that until I was, I don't know- 90 and getting dental implants.
'We're getting you back to earth, and out of my life,' Beelzebub said.
'Not until Lucifer says so,' the cronies said.
'And certainly not when I look like this,' I added.
YEAH SO LET'S GO ON TRIGGERIN TROUBLE
