Set Alight

Chapter 2

I'm nervous all week. Luckily, years of hiding emotions from my dad ("Emotion is a hinderance, Emma, and delays development") conceals any betrayal from him. The excuse to go to the large park on Saturday is a biology extra credit assignment (I asked Ms. Grain if I could to give me the proper alibi).

At school, I can hardly focus. The gnawing guilt of lying to my dad to do something dangerous-willingly-eats at me through all my classes throughout the week. Lindsey is being excessively tolerant of my dad as payment for my help on Saturday.

Friday night, after I take my sickly sweet medicine, I wait for its laced sedatives to take hold. The burning acid sensation wraps around my gut and I grit my teeth, lying back against the pillows. Dad taps on my door and comes in.

"Did you take your medicine?" he asks.

"Yeah," I reply, removing my hands from my stomach. He doesn't like when I push down on my stomach because he says it messes with the effects of the medicine. He picks up my cup and eyes the rim.

"Good. Sleep well." And he leaves without an answer from me. I tug on my fingers as the sedatives eat at my vision. Usually I fight it, just to see how long I can, but today I let it steal me away, soft as a shadow.

The next morning, I wake and stumble through all my morning routines. I always feel a little sick after I wake up, but it soon disappears after I take my morning dose of medicine- watered-down pills for the day.

I put them in my mouth and swallow with a bit of water, my dad watching carefully. Afterwards, I pack my backpack in front of him, placing seeds, plant identifier textbooks, and notebooks carefully inside.

"Do you have your phone? And your watch?" I show them both to him. "I'm not thrilled you're going alone, with no one but your friend..." he begins. I don't interupt. He really doesn't enjoy when I interrupt. "So I'm sending Benedict with you."

No! No, that can't happen! "Is he ready to go?" My voice betrays nothing of my inner panic. Dad nods.

"He's waiting for you in the car."

"Thank you." No! NO! How do I get rid of him? He's basically my body guard and follows me whenever I'm out in public. But I thought, like the stupid silly fool I am, that today would be different. Stupid, stupid!

Not to say I don't love Benedict. He's like a brother to me. But he's such a tattletale...! If he finds out what Lindsey and I are really up to... I'll never be allowed to leave the house again! The restrictions will be so great, I wouldn't be allowed out if the house was on fire.

"Hello, Benedict," I greet, getting into the front seat with him.

"Good morning," he replies. "To Lindsey's?"

"Yeah."

"What's wrong?"

"Why is something wrong?" I return. Benedict knows me so well.

"I can tell. I can always tell, Em."

"I don't like the outside... Extra Credit will raise my grade to 100%. Dad doesn't like anything less than perfection." Barely any of that is a lie. They're all convincing statements: Statements that are true but don't answer the question. Luckily, I never lie or omit the truth, and Benedict doesn't question me further.

Lindsey freezes when she sees the car, but I give her a look to get in and keep your mouth shut, I'll think of something. She gets in back and slowly works up a conversation; she and Benedict are on good enough terms.

At the park, we lay out a blanket from the back of the car and set up homework. Lindsey looks at me urgently. "Benedict," I ask quietly. "Would you mind getting us a couple bottled waters from the car?"