Baby It's Cold Outside [Cricky/multiship AU] // COMPLETED //

Fuck Feelings

Chris' P.O.V

Ricky has to be interviewed by my boss today. I'm sure he'll do just fine, I mean, who wouldn't want to hire up Ricky? He's perfect and I'm sure he'll do a good job. 

Yet...

"I love you" 

Shit. 

"O-oh..." his eyes drop and his cheeks got red. That's not good. Shit...shit! What do I do now?? I can't back off, he's literally on top of me and I can't pretend that I didn't mean it because that's just a shitty thing to do. 

"W-well you don't have to say anything if you don't wanna..." I stuttered. 

"I...shit...I'm so bad when it comes to dealing with that kind of stuff..." 

"I know, I'm sorry I had to ruin this perfect moment. I can't help but say stupid shit all the time and sometimes I should just shut up. It's nothing, I'm sorry I made things awkward. Don't worry about it, it's fine." I said, a fake smile decorating my face. 

He looked at me with teary eyes before muttering an apology and turning his back to me. I brushed it off, staring at the ceiling with that stupid smile stuck to my lips. I stared until I felt my lips tremble and tears stream down my cheeks. 

I cried myself to sleep silently, still smiling...probably.  

I never realized how lonely I really am. Was my apartment always that dark? 

I have to try to make myself happy again for when Ricky comes back home. I need to make everything ok again. I fucked up, I need to fix it up. 

We didn't talk much this morning, just the usual stuff. He asked me if I wanted coffee, I said yes, I gave him a bowl of cereal and shortly after, he said goodbye. We didn't kiss, didn't make eye contact...will things ever go back to normal?

I hear the door unlock, my palms instantly get sweaty and my breath goes short.

"Hi" he mumbles quietly.

"How was it?" I ask, as casually as possible.

"It went good. How was your day?" 

Terrible

"It was fine" 

"Cool" 

Silence. We're both looking down. 

"I made food if you're hungry. Hum...I'm going to watch Tv and sleep early, I have to go to work tomorrow." I said, passing by him.

"I'm sorry"

Fuck feelings.