Royal Negotiations [Kylo Ren x Reader]

chapter fifteen

several months later

"I've picked a midwife for you," Kylo said, stepping into the room.

Your furrowed your eyebrows and put down the spoonful of food you were bringing to your lips. With a gasp of disbelief, you gazed at your husband.

"Without my permission?"

"I don't need your permission," he said simply.

"With my consent?" you corrected. He said nothing. You scoffed. "Kylo, we talked about this."

Hardly.

Kylo had grown increasingly distant over the last few months. He was always tired, always away, and most of the time, he spent his days and nights seeking guidance from the Supreme Leader.

You were angry. Here you were, dragged to the base because of his wishes, and then ignored every day. Rarely did he kiss you, almost never did he touch you. If you reached for his hand, he would stiffen and slide his fingers out of reach.

It hurt you. You were nearing eight months pregnant now, and you were scared. With all of the aches and pains and sickness that came along with carrying twins, you were not given relief in any way. You practically took care of yourself, except for the servants that Kylo ordered around.

And now he had chosen a midwife to take care of you until birth. You grimaced at the idea of the strict woman he must have chosen. No one would he good enough in your eyes.

"Kylo," you repeated, teeth grinding against each other. "We talked about this."

He glanced up at you briefly. "I don't see why it's a big deal."

"Because I wanted a say in who was going to be taking care of us until they're born!" you exclaimed.

"I made sure to pick the most qualified-"

"Qualified?" you scoffed, standing out of your seat.

Kylo sighed as you pushed your full plate away in disgust. You walked away and into your shared room.

"___," he called. "Come back and eat."

"Not hungry," you said shortly.

"Fifty minutes ago, you told me that you were starving," he stated.

He followed you into the bedroom. You were pretending to fold sheets. Only you were aware of the hot tears burning in the corners of your eyes. You were sick of the fighting.

"That was before you ruined my appetite," you said.

He sighed again. "Don't be like this," he pleaded, his voice emotionless.

"Don't be like what?" you asked. "I'm tired, Kylo. I'm tired of you bringing in nurse after nurse, without my consent, and allowing them to poke and prod at me, test me, do... whatever it is you want! It's horrible! It's making me miserable!"

"It's for your own good, ___!" he snapped. He took one step towards you.

You felt a dull throb at the side of your stomach. You placed your hand over it and whimpered, but didn't break your gaze from Kylo's. He, however, stopped.

"___," he whispered, sensing your discomfort.

"Don't," you spat. The pain went away.

He noticed the tears that were beginning to spill. He took a single hesitant step forward and held out a hand in a warning.

"Stop," he said. "Stop. This isn't good for the babies."

You blinked. "This? Me... me having human emotions isn't good for the babies? And what am I supposed to do, laugh and be okay with the fact that my own husband is repulsed by me?"

"Repulsed by you?" he repeated. He couldn't make sense of the words. "___, I love you. You're... you're everything to me. You're carrying our children - how could you think that I am repulsed by you?"

You were sobbing. "It's been almost four months, Kylo, and you haven't made me feel like you love me. You... you look at me like I have done something horrible to you. And if I have, please - please tell me, because I never meant to make you feel this way! But I honestly cannot make sense of why you have treated me like I was less than your wife."

Now, tears burned in his eyes. He could see at once how badly he had hurt you. Still, he could not bring himself to admit to you why he had to distance himself. He did not want you to worry. He did everything in his power to shield you from his own pain, and yet here you were - suffering because of him.

You braced your hand on the large round of your stomach. "Kylo, please... please j-just talk to me. I don't know what to do to help you. Don't cry, Kylo... talk to me!"

He balled up his fists and slammed them against his eyes. A sobbing grunt burst out of his wet lips. Then, he dropped his arms, and, without looking at you, wrapped them around you as best he could and brought you to a stop at his chest.

For the first time, he allowed himself to fall apart in your arms. He buried his face in your hair and pressed his hands to your back. He felt the babies kick inside of you, and he looked down to give them attention.

He placed both his hands on your stomach and peppered several light kisses over the bump. You hesitantly reached for him, brushing your fingers through his soft hair.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered to them and you. "I have failed you."

"Just tell me what is wrong," you pleaded.

He squeezed his eyes shut.

"Kylo."

"I... I had a dream before you were attacked on Amaar. In that dream, you were having the babies... but something was wrong. I saw one of them. She was so small and so - so still - and... and you s-saw, and you started to die right there... right there, in front of me."

You cupped his cheek and brought his face upward. A sad smile stretched over your face and you shook your head. "You put our marriage at risk because of a bad dream?"

"You don't understand," he said desperately, clutching at the sides of your gown. "It happened more than once. It was a Force vision. I've been seeking guidance from the Supreme Leader, but he seems hesitant to help me. Something about the vision... didn't please him."

You furrowed your eyebrows. "What? The fact that I died, or that our child died?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "But I will do everything to keep it from coming true."

"I know you will," you whispered. You were starting to cry again. "And that's why I trust you, and no matter what happens, I always will-"

There was another dull throbbing. Kylo's eyes widened and he held onto your shoulders, whispering your name. You shook your head and held your breath until it passed.

"Are they coming?" he asked urgently, glancing over your body. "It isn't time! You still have a month-"

"No," you breathed, "but I think we should go to the midwife now."