in which a broken-hearted boy describes the after effect of losing love and friendship.
meet grayson, a boy whose mind works as fast as his heart beats, and loves as much as he can. this is the life of a boy who lost everything.
**completed**
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
all eyes were on me as my motorbike came to an almost stop in the school parking lot. i didn't even wait for the bike to fully stop before hopping off. part of me thought it would look cool, but the other part of me didn't care what happened. i wasn't particularly interesting. i didn't typically give anyone a reason to stare, but today i did. they all knew this was unlike me. i wasn't the type to even ride a motorbike, much less do anything near dangerous. i didn't really care, though.
i took my helmet off, and hung it on the side of my bike. pulling my bag further up on my shoulders, i walked into school. i didn't make eye contact with any of the wandering eyes, and i certainly didn't respond to any of the questions i had received. no one really cared about what happened over the summer, nor would they pretend to worry. they only wanted something to talk about. as if their trips to the beach weren't interesting enough to talk about, or their summer "love" wasn't gossip enough. it never really phased me until this moment. i never cared until now.
i wasn't particularly interested in any of these people or how their summer went. i didn't care because it was all irrelevant. it's just more stories about how long everyone was away from each other, and about how friends don't keep in touch unless they have something keeping them together, like school. maybe that was what changed me; all of my friends being gone, and none of them bothering to even try to keep in touch. or maybe it was the way the sky looked differently during the night than it did during the day, and i liked that. or maybe it was none of that, but it was only the mere fact that things change, and i happened to be one of those things.
it always mattered to me what everyone thought of me, and it always mattered to me what kind of reputation i had. it wasn't until this moment that i finally saw how much neither of those things matter. in the end, no one really cares. it's all artificial.
i walked the halls with eyes glued into my back. i didn't dare to look forward. i kept my eyes focused on my black and heavy boots as they made their way down the hallways of reunited teenagers.
as a 17 year old boy, i was supposed to care about the looks people gave me as i walked by or the things people would say about me when i'm not around. i used to care. i used to care so much that it hurt me. maybe i still do care; maybe it still does hurt me. maybe i've just become so numb to caring and to pain that i couldn't even notice it anymore. that was such a sad thing to think of yourself.
i sat down into a desk in the back of the classroom for first period, almost immediately before the bell rang. maybe i didn't care about anyone else anymore, and maybe i had changed. but if there was one thing that would never have the ability to change, it was the fact that i had this dream. i was going to graduate from high school with a gpa as high as i could imagine, and i'd get into the best college that i could. i'd study astronomy, and one day, i'd work for nasa. i'd fulfill my dream of searching the universe. that was just the way it was; that was the way it was meant to be.
