in which a broken-hearted boy describes the after effect of losing love and friendship.
meet grayson, a boy whose mind works as fast as his heart beats, and loves as much as he can. this is the life of a boy who lost everything.
**completed**
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I rode my bike to the coffee shop nearest the beach. I knew I wouldn't see Samson and the others there, nor did I want to. I just wanted a cup of coffee and some time to remember.
Remembering is always the most difficult part of losing someone. At least, for me, it is. It's the saddest part, too. I could practically feel the nostalgia as I pulled up to the parking lot. I could physically feel my heart thumping from the inside of my chest. I didn't know why. I wasn't nervous or afraid. I think I was just anxious about what I wouldn't see. If I saw them, together, without me, it would rip my insides out of me. But if I didn't see them, I think maybe that would hurt a little worse because maybe then, it would feel like they were avoiding me. Maybe I was just thinking too much.
I stepped off my bike and made my way through the entrance, my fists noticeably clinched at my sides. I heard the bell above me ding as the door closed behind me. I tried to keep my eyes from searching, but there was no use in it. I looked. I wasn't sure if I was looking for Samson or if I was looking for hope that I still had my best friend. Whatever it was, I couldn't find any traces of either. So I made my way to the counter to order.
"A double espresso, please," I ordered, looking at their menu on the wall. I sighed to myself. I hadn't eaten all day.
"Is that all?" the lady asked, very evidently trying to search my eyes.
I nodded, handing her some change. She placed it into her register before pulling out the money she owed me. "Keep it."
She smiled kindly at me, and I smiled sadly back. I think she could tell because she furrowed her eyebrows, and glanced at me sideways. I brushed the looks she gave me off, and I found a seat close to the counter where I could wait on my order. That's when I spotted Nichole. That's when I spotted her.
I hopped up from my seat immediately and made my way towards her. "Nichole!" I called, my smile wider than it should have been. I was ecstatic to see her here. I was so thankful, that I gave her a hug. I hadn't seen her all summer.
"I missed you, too, Grayson," she smiled warmly. I didn't even have to tell her that I missed her. She knew I would have been in contact with her as often as I could over the summer, if she hadn't gone away without her phone for four months. It felt so good to see her smile again. It warmed me up inside, in a way that no one else's smile could have, for she was so warm.
She ordered the same as me, something I would have known without hearing her order, and something she knew without even knowing mine. "How have you been?" she asked, sitting across from me.
That question was all I needed to feel my heart break again. It was such a genuine, yet simple question, but it tore me apart. How could I tell her about Samson? How could I tell her what happened to me? She needed nothing but goodness from me, especially since it had been so long since we've communicated. I wanted, so deeply, to tell her what happened to me. I wanted her to come home with me so we could listen to our favorite records and dream about a place that was better than here, but I couldn't. She needed this more than I did, and I wasn't going to share my hurt with her for even a moment.
