My Bully

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I cannot put into words how I feel about u. Day after day I tell myself that I'm going to tell you but I don't have the heart.
You are 1 of the most genuine and true to yourself, people I have ever met. You are straight forward and u hold no punches. I keep asking myself, why did we step into each other's lives, not in a bad way like I wish it never happened but in a way, as in what is the reason...
I am a firm believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason, we come across people in our lives for a purpose. If they stay then they are supposed to be there, if they leave then they have served their purpose and it's time to move on...
Im starting to ask myself, how long are you going to be in my life for? Could it be forever or is it just temporary?
You've taught me a lot... you've taught me to be weary of people and accept that not everyone has your best interests at heart. You made me see that not all guys are bad guys and that there are some good honest guys left...
You are really caring, which Shocks me because in the beginning you kept telling me you're mean, what amazes me is that you were honest... even though you knew that that could potentially scare me off...
Part of me feels like I was put in your life to show you that there are still some good pure women left, I was put here to soften your heart just a little bit...
I've only known you for a little while But I can tell you I honestly only want what's best for you. I wish you all of the success in the world, not only in money, but in happiness, friends and family as well. I'm 1 of your biggest cheerleaders and regardless of what happens between us, you can pick up the phone if ever you need something or you not ok... I'll be there. You mean a lot to me, your wellbeing and your happiness means a lot to me.
I don't know how it's possible for us to know each other for so little time and yet you have become an important part of my life.
If I let you in, you should know that I will care for you even more than I care for myself, I've told you that that's a weakness but I'm not going to change because that's me.
This past weekend we spent together, I keep thinking about it... it was perfect, simple things like laying and just kissing you continuously like a baby, I miss that. I miss seeing how you try to hide your happiness to see me when I open the door. When we laid on the couch together and you would put your head on my stomach and I'd rub your hair... I don't know how to put into words how all of that has affected me.
I came across some of the quotes about silence, basically you'll know when you've met the one, when u can both be silent and it not be awkward, because you know what you feel for each other... is that what is happening here?

I feel like we in a relationship, we fight like a couple and when we do fight, gosh it upsets me... like it doesn't feel right. Like I can't just be like "whatever I'm not talking to him"... I don't know what's the next step because if you ask me, I want us to be more than what we are now. I feel that there is a reason that we are so attached to each other and that attachment is getting stronger each day. I respect you so much, that I asked you if it's ok if I meet Ashley and T for coffee on Sat, even though I didn't have to (I don't mean that in a bad way), and the fact that I could sense that you not happy about it, I didn't go.
We "fighting" now and it feels so wrong not to talk to you... sometimes I ask myself, would we be ok if we just decided to end this...
I feel that we need to decide where to from here, as we cannot continue like this... I don't want you to put your life on hold for me, by talking to me...
Hence I asked you, if I was there, would we date? I know you can't see the future and you leave it in God's hands, but from your side... would we date seriously, as in the potential to get married? I want your opinion...
I constantly ask myself, if he stops talking to me, what will I do? I can't see myself not hearing from you... it's a scary thought.
I do however feel that If we going to see each other again, we need to decide where to from here because we cannot continue like this...
You really special, you are one of a kind. You are sensitive but you hide under this tough exterior.
You deserve the best. Remember that, and if that is not me then I will gladly step aside and let go of you, as long as you happy.

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