Living Lies ✜ Hunger Games x Reader

Blame Yourself

"Do you see that?"

Peeta turns his head towards you at the sound of your voice, arm still slung around your shoulder. "See what?" he asks.

You lift your free hand and point towards a cluster of rocks in the near distance. "That, right there," you confirm, watching as he moves his head to look where you're pointing. "See it? That's goal. If it's a cave, it'll offer some good coverage."

"And if it's not?"

You smirk. "We keep walking, of course," you assert. "But what other explanation would you have for that convenient boulder right when we need it, Peeta?"

A glance towards your wounded companion reveals him shrugging. "The gamemakers are trying to lure us into a false sense of security so we can be brutally ambushed and murdered by a ravenous animal?" he suggests.

"I wouldn't put it past them," you concede, chuckling. "But look at us-at everything we've gone through. That wouldn't make much sense for their ratings to kill off a sacrificial survival story with hope at the end of the tunnel, now would it? Besides, that would kind of be a stupid move, considering the new rule they just implemented."

"But Cato and Clove are both from the same District, and they're still alive," Peeta points out, wincing ever so slightly.

You smile, exhaling an amused puff of air. "Yeah, but they don't have it together like we do."

Peeta rolls his eyes in your direction. "Because we have it together so much better than they do."

"Is that sarcasm that I detect?"

Peeta doesn't get the chance to answer right away, instead laughing slightly. It was alarmingly obvious how quickly he was growing on you-or at least how much more he was growing on you.

You carefully pick your way down the rocks until both you and Peeta have safely reached the secluded entrance to the-as you suspected-cave. You remove Peeta's draped arm from around your neck and let him rest against the edge of the cave as you check out the inside of the stone structure.

"It's all clear inside," you inform him, stepping out into the open air again. You catch a glimpse of him shaking his head at you out of the corner of your eye. "What?" you ask curiously, helping him duck into the cave.

Peeta hesitates slightly. "You. You're incredible," he finally says, watching your eyes widen in surprise. "You've brought us so far in the games-there are so many times you could have just given up, but you didn't. And-" he adds, lowering himself to the ground, "I wouldn't have blamed you for letting me go."

You study his face for a second, shaking your head ever so slightly. "But you see," you pause, setting your bag on the ground, "then I'd blame myself. And, that's almost worse."

It feels good to be honest with somebody for once-for the first time in many days. You haven't had someone to confide in that you really weren't doing everything for just the sake of being able to say you kept your promise-no, that wasn't it. You could deal with the judgment from people in District 12, your friends, family, mentor, Peeta himself, the entire Capitol, all of Panem, you didn't care, but you can't face the judgment you put upon yourself, because it's always there, and it's just so easy to do. Hell, you'd faced everyone's judgment before and it wasn't worse than the guilt you felt when Rue died. You're your own worst enemy, and the only way to keep Peeta safe and to win, is to protect you from yourself.

You're glad that you've been able to (somewhat) share that thought provoking inner conflict with Peeta. If it could be anyone, you're glad it's him.

"(Y/n)," Peeta says suddenly. "I want to say, thank you, for finding me."

You shrug it off. "It was nothing. You would have found a way to get to me if I hadn't-if you had to."