twenty four

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(Jimin POV)

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"I'm home," my voice bellowed from the front door, shrugging my backpack and jacket off. The melted snow stuck to the texture of my jacket, wet glistening against the black colour.

I hooked fingers behind my feet, pulling my sneakers off. Walking to the kitchen, I retrieved my phone, checking my notifications.

Usual messages and comments flooded my feed, my thumb swiping across all of them one by one, reading what they had to say. 

"Jimin?" My mother's voice carried into the kitchen. She stood by the fridge, arms crossed over her chest. A pink burn mark snaked a few centimeters around her forearm and I wondered where the ointment was.

I chewed onto a cracker, locking my phone. "Hey, Mum."

"Do you know what time it is?"

"4:30."

She walked along the tile, feet scrubbing softly upon the beige texture. Sitting on a chair across from me, she continued. "Your school ends at 2:30, where were you?"

"I texted you," I waved my phone, "I was with a friend."

She pursed her lips, "with Yoongi?"

I scoffed, an annoyance jabbing at my insides. "Fuck no."

She glared at my choice of words, but I pretended to not notice.

"You know we don't want you going off to places like that. Why didn't you tell me beforehand? I could've driven you and your friend."

I suppressed a tired sigh, not wanting this to continue like it usually does.

"Mum, I'm almost eighteen. Don't worry so much," I nudged her arm softly. She hissed in pain when my skin touched her burn mark.

"Sorry," I whispered, withdrawing my arm.

A muscle moved in her jaw. "Just don't do this again. Come home right away next time," she ended, rising up from the chair.

Anger smoked from my chest, teeth tugging at my bottom lip.

"Why?"

Her eyes hardened, "what do you mean 'why' ? I don't want you staying out late like the rest of those delinquents."

"Mum," I clenched my jaw, "just because I go to grab coffee with a friend after school doesn't mean I'll start failing all my classes."

"Well it could happen. You'll get so used to staying out late that you won't want to do your homework."

I stood up, chair scraping along the floor. "What's next, Mum? Are you going to tell me now that you're not going to let me move out for university?"

She placed one hand on her hip, pursing her lips into a thin line. "Well, you can always drive to university, anyways."

My mouth gaped. "What is it with you and Dad? Why are both of you so fucking hell-bent on isolating me from the world?"

"Isolating you?" Her voice rose. "The only reason you feel isolated is because of yourself -- not us. We're just trying to protect you."

"Protect me? By never letting me go out and play when I was a kid? By never letting me dream those stupid dreams that all kids do?" My scalp burned as my voice rose and rose.

"I never even got to go through that phase where a ten year old says to the world, 'hey, I want to be a fucking astronaut.' No! Both of you told me since day one to be practical, to not dream, to not believe that the world is a nice place 'cause all you ever fucking told me is that everyone lies!"

Hot tears rose behind my eyes, but I blinked them away. "And you say that I've isolated myself?"

"What kind of parents tell their ten year old that there's no such as friends? What kind of parents tell their eleven year old that there's no such thing as love?"

"So now that I'm seventeen and so fucking sad an-and sick of being sad, how can you stand there and say that it's all 'cause of me?!"

My voice reverberated from the kitchen walls.

Instead of giving way to anger, my mother's bottom lip quivered.

"Me and your father weren't like this when we were your age," she bit her lip, regaining her splitting composure.

"So I don't know why you turned out like this," she spat. "All this bullshit about depression and anxiety and whatever else this society has come up with; it's all in your head."

"So stop. Just stop all of this," she finished.

I laughed.

I laughed and laughed, voice tumbling out into hearty notes and long chuckles, until I too laughed myself to tears.

I laughed myself to tears and you didn't come back to wipe them away.

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