(Jimin POV)
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"Alright, everyone. Binders away."
I stuffed my notebook and pencil case away, zipping up my backpack. The teacher, Mr. Kwang, leaned his hip against his desk at the front of the classroom, peering at us above his silver-rimmed glasses. Grey speckled against the fading black shade of his hair, years adding up to his face.
Conversations of other students cascaded around the classroom, hands putting away binders and notebooks and pens. Most giggled about the upcoming school dance and few groaned about impending exams and university applications.
"As you all know," Mr. Kwang cleared his throat, "your university applications are due soon."
The class groaned and rolled their eyes.
The silver male cocked his head, confusion flickering amongst his aging face. "Why so upset?"
A girl rang up a response, running a hand through her hair, "why would we be happy about even more years of school?" Her friend snickered beside her and both exchanged a look.
"Why wouldn't you be?" Our teacher asked in response and the class died down. He stepped closer to the front row desks, eyeing all of us seniors. "Why wouldn't you be happy to be one step closer to your dreams?"
"Don't you all have a dream?" He asked.
A broad shouldered male scoffed beside me, "well, duh, we have one every night."
"Wet dreams," his male friend nudged his shoulder.
I internally screamed.
"Shut up, both of you," Mr. Kwang sternly warned.
"What I mean to say is, in a nutshell, that there is a difference between dreading something and fearing it." He looked at the girl whom uttered the earlier question, "if you dread the thought of pursuing post-secondary education, then don't do it -- you'll probably drop out."
"But," he imposed, "if it scares you, then that's the all the better reason to do it."
He pointed to all of us, eyes scanning through us all, "if we fear something, then there's a reason as to why we do. Fear isn't biologically hard-wired into our brains, we don't come into this world with a preset fear of death."
"We only start to fear death because we live knowing that one day we won't."
My chest tingled as a question loomed on my tongue, arm slowly going up to ask it.
"Yes, Jimin."
A few of my classmates turned around, most of them only for entertainment after what occurred between me and Yoongi. I wondered if any of them really wondered about what I had to say.
"Can we fear love even if we've never felt it?"
The teacher smiled, "how can you be so sure that you've never felt it?"
I felt my foot touching the boundary, my brain urging me to utter a typical response that everyone would;
'because I've never felt butterflies whenever I see them'
'because I don't think about having children with them'
'because I don't want to kiss them'
I let go.
"Because I've never learned to love myself."
Fifteen more heads turned around to look at me, some eyes widened, some eyes rolling, most mouths silent.
