The Last Mockingjay [ON HOLD]

5. Only the Beginning

What did that laugh mean? Was it genuine? And what did Johanna mean by 'Well done'? As I walk home, I am even more confused than before. My mind feels clouded, which feels so unusual as I didn't have to stress about anything for a long time. To take my mind off things, I go into the woods, even though I know that my best option would be to talk things over with Peeta.

As soon as I enter the woods, something brushes past me. I turn back, my arrow pointed. It's the deer. It calls for me silently. I don't know how, but suddenly I feel like a paperclip attracted to a magnet. I know that I could pull away easily if I tried. However, I have to follow it. It was the same one as before - Finnick's clear eyes, his swift movement. It limped slightly, as I followed behind. After a while, it made a strange noise. What was it doing? Seconds later, two more of the identical deers came to my attention. I watched all three closely, and I saw the one I had surely killed two days ago. It's right eye was cloudy and red, but other than that, it seemed fine. I pulled my arrow back, before getting ready to release it. Just when I nearly let go, a hand pats my right shoulder.

'How are you doing there, sweetheart?' This can be only one voice. The voice of my frail, hurt mentor, Haymitch. I spin around instantly, and hug him tightly. Wait. Why is Haymitch here? Aren't the Capitol meant to be fixing him up? Patch him up from years of alcohol abuse?

'Haymitch! What are you doing here? It's only been a couple of days since you left. Surely, even the Capitol couldn't have undone seventy years of damage in two days,' I joke. He stares at me sadly.

'Yeah, it was relatively quick', he mutters. He changes the subject quickly. 'So, I heard a lot has happened since I left.'

'Yeah, nothing new. Someone I love was chosen in the Reaping and I volunteered.' Haymitch smiles. If it was anyone else, they would've felt pity, but being Haymitch, he enjoyed the joke with me.

'You're right. It's almost a tradition.' We both chuckle, before I realise that the deer have run away. 'Haymitch, why did you stop the deer from being shot?'

He shrugs his shoulders. 'They looked too familiar.' I understand what he means, and question him no more. 'Let's go back now,' I say.

We walk back to the Victor's Village. We say our goodbyes quickly and I go back to my house. Inside, I can smell fresh scents of cheese buns again, but something's different. As I sniff, a familiar smell travels up my nose. It smells so... artificial, so fake. It was so familiar, and though I couldn't quite grasp it at first, I knew within the next couple of minutes. It was the smell of Snow's roses.

I cough and run up the stairs to my bedroom. Although I had thought that the smell would weaken, it has turned stronger. I run around crazily, trying to find the roses, so that I could dispose of them. When I try and have no luck, I sit back down on the bed, tired. I do the one thing that helps me get rid of that powerless, sickening feeling. I sing. Softly, at first, but soon the mockingjays begin too. It is a long time before the birds and I stop singing. And when I do, a small applause breaks behind my back.

I turn around and see Peeta. He grins at me sweetly and climbs up the bed. As he comes closer, the smell of the roses become stronger. 'Peeta, get off me!' I shriek, and jump away. He looks away hurt, and raises his eyebrows.

'Where have you been? What have you been eating? Who have you been with?' He looks a little caught off guard.

'I left after lunch, when I saw that you weren't coming back soon. First, I went to Gale's house, to check on you.'

'Did they say anything?'

'No, but Johanna kissed one of my cheeks. The right one. It was totally weird, because she just randomly did it,' Peeta says, puzzled. 'And then I went to Haymitch's, to get rid of his liquor in the cabinet. Before he comes back.'

'He's already back, I saw before.'

'Really? That's great!' He grins. I nod. 'What did you do next?' I ask. As he comes closer to me, he reeks of the roses.

'Well, when I opened it, it was fully stocked. And on top was a bouquet of roses. Very pretty actually. There was a message too, but I thought it was too rude of me to read it. I did catch a glimpse of the sender's name though.

'Really? Who?'

'It said, 'Love from J'. I have no idea who J is though.' I don't answer back, and try to run the names that I know in a list. Nothing rings a bell.

I lean to kiss his right cheek, and the artificial smell clogs up my nose. I move and kiss his left cheek, and there is no smell. None whatsoever. When I smell the right one again, it's like the roses are planted there.

'So, both you and Johanna have an obsession of my right cheek?' he laughs.

'Wait. Johanna kissed your right cheek?'

'Yes. Why?' I sit still for a moment. Johanna is J. She sent President Snow's flowers.

My brain finally begins to work, connecting all the dots from even when I left in the morning. Johanna isn't one of us anymore. She had something to do with the Hunger Games. Something huge. Something... that maybe purposely involved Gale and I. Gale. He also had that strange smell. What's that meant to mean? I tremble, scared. And Johanna Mason is a fighter. A victor. She is clever. What is she thinking?

And why send them to Haymitch? Suddenly, I remember that he kept me from shooting the deer. How he just happened to be away during the Reaping. A wave of betrayal washes over me. Haymitch and Johanna? Their brains combined could do anything. And I become afraid. Unaccountably afraid.

Peeta stares at me, not saying anything. When I look up, he searches my eyes for evidence as to what I am thinking about right now. I must look pretty bad, because his shoulders droop.

'Peeta?' I whisper. He looks up at me.

'Yeah?'

'You were right to be scared when Paylor said that the Games were back on. You were right.' He stares at me. I know he's going to say something witty back, maybe to comfort me.

'I still am, Katniss. Actually, I'm terrified.' he says unexpectedly. He's not faking it, as I can see the same cloudy look he had in his eyes when he was hijacked. And this is how I know, that it's only just the beginning.