For A Moment

Panic!

KATE

The day Tommy was born was both bittersweet and joyous. I longed to hold a baby in my arms, but the entire time, in the back of my head, I knew that this journey that Libby and I were on was just beginning. He was happy and healthy, yet my wife was sick and would need to start an extensive round of chemotherapy almost immediately. This meant that she could not breastfeed when she started, but I tried to cheer her up making it sound like it's not the end of the world but that it just meant that I would get to bond with our little man as well. My trips to the hospital were limited in that we had a newborn, and I had to spend my time devoted to him and his needs. The days of chemo were long and hard, and it became quite a routine where I'd drop her off for her eight hour treatment then head home to nap before it was time to feed and change Tommy's diaper. The evenings after chemo as well as the first few days, I was not only taking care of Tommy but taking care of her as she became violently ill. There were moments when I would cry my eyes out in the shower begging God to work a miracle and heal my wife so she could live to see our son grow up. But such was not the case, and in the end, my faith went out the window as the doctors shook their heads and said that the cancer had not only spread but also, they would have to try and do more surgery to try to contain it as well as more rounds of radiation. By now, her hair had started to fall out and she was beginning to rapidly lose weight. When I brought her home that final time, we both didn't know that we would only have three more months together as a family. She refused the surgery and treatment, and opted to just live out the rest of her life as well as she could so she could enjoy holding and helping to take care of Tommy. The images of her holding him are still infused in my mind. How she would sing to him and how he would look up at her in awe and wonderment. Long after she passed away, I would play videos of her singing and talking to him so that the memory of her would stay alive in his mind. He was what I had left of my precious Libby, and he was my utmost comfort and treasure.

After the reptile house is closed down and every nook and cranny is searched, there is still no sign of either Marley or Tommy. Cassie is beside herself, but I resolve to keep it together. I speak to the security team calmly as the police are officially called. They work well to shut the gates down to the zoo so no one can go in or out.

"It's not like Tommy to have left this place considering this is where he most wanted to visit, his love for dinosaurs strong," I explain to the team. I motion for Cassie to join me so we both can give a vivid description of both kids including what they were wearing.

The dread soon fills all of us as we realize they may be with someone. "Is anyone after you????" Cassie asks me after pulling me aside.

"After me? What do you mean?" I furrow my eyebrows having no patience right now for frivolous questions.

"You're a judge!" she accuses. "You always hear stories of people being judged or thrown in jail vowing to go after the judge when they get out!" Her hands are shaking and I grab both of them.

"Calm down, Cassie, please....I have only been a judge here for a little over a month. I hardly feel I've put anyone away within that short span of time who would come after me."

She yanks away from me and storms off, and I sigh as I pull my ponytail out and fix my hair. My head is now pounding, and after looking at my watch, I see it's almost 4 p.m. The head security guard comes over to usher me to the main office up front and we catch up with Cassie who is staring out the window, a dazed look on her face.

I place my hand on her lower back and whisper in her ear, "We are headed to the main office to wait for the police to arrive. They've closed the gates. They'll be found, ok?" Without thinking, I kiss her temple and she nods, still in a daze as we head that way.