PERFUME CALLED ATTRACTION → JIKOOK

the beginning

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a few years ago, i enrolled in a university i thought was the one for me.

i was more than happy. ecstatic.

because not only was this university perfect for me,
so were you.

i remember the way we first met, with you stuttering and not knowing where to place your hands. i know it took all of your courage to ask me to be your friend, and i still appreciate it till this day.

you called me for a few nights, and we would have late-night conversations about anything and everything.

you called me again, but this time it was because you wanted to meet me.

yes, i know you're dating someone, but to me it felt like a date. you were going out with kim taehyung, and we were all pretty good friends.

you said to meet in front of the café we always went to when we were younger.

in the crowd of people, i stood there just waiting for you to come with the smile plastered on your face.

i didn't notice that you walked past me, but when i did, i inhaled and the only thing i took in besides oxygen, were your features.

i fell for you.

hard.

"hey, jimin."

my name rolled off your lips so easily, that name filled with imperfection was absolute perfection coming from you.

that day was the one day where i felt like i wasn't faking, so whilst you were talking about taehyung and the recent things you did with him, i didn't listen.

no, not because i was jealous and envying him.

it was only because i loved the way he made you so happy.

a type of happy i couldn't make you feel.

currently, you were smiling as you told me about how your first awkward date was with taehyung whilst we were walking alongside each other, our destination being near.

we were at your house, and the only thing i could focus on was your face as you were laughing because of the mess that was in your room.

you had a little couch, good for two, in the corner of your room and a tv located at the front.

i assumed you and taehyung watched things in your room.

and i was right.

"jimin-ah, what do you want to watch?"

ah, maybe you resent me a little. no, a lot.

out of all those words i had to swallow
because of the excuse called reality,
i'll pick one and tell it to you for sure.

"taehyung went to daegu, i'm here with no company nowadays. i'm glad i have you, jimin."

the movie ended, and we sat in silence, the only thing audible being your soft exhales.

guilt was what i felt.

i feel guilty for loving you.

but at the same time, it feels so good.

"ah-, harder!"

the feeling was so good.