THE DAY HE BECAME RUTHLESS: The Metaphorical Series #2

EPILOGUE

PART I

I pushed this nameless woman against the wall and ravished her neck. Somewhere in Europe, I'm with a groupie. I could feel her hands working on my belt and just when I started to get down to it,  I stopped.

A recalled visual of a brown eyed beauty consumed me. The image of her, firm in my mind's eye.

Bumitaw ako sa baywang ng babae at tinukod ang mga kamay sa sinandalan niyang dingding. My mind's in knots and my breathing is chaotic. Goddammit. It has always been like this! It has never gone right.

"Dean, what's wrong?" The breath of the woman's warm lust caressed my skin. Seeking hands still touching me. But I can't feel anything.

Humihingal, nag angat ako ng tingin sa kanyang mukha. First, I saw her lips. There's a slight bulge at the lower center portion of her upper lip that makes her whole mouth round and plumpy, a meaty cupid's bow.

"Ruth...?" I was confused. Or is the alcohol talking?

But this is what her mouth looks like.

"Dean...come on." She desperately grabbed the waistband of my jeans now with my shirt being discarded on the floor.

Pumirmi ako at hindi nagpahila. My brows deepened recognizing the difference. Tila namulat sa realidad ay nalaman kong ibang babae ang kasama ko. This is not Ruthzielle.

Maingay akong suminghap at tinulak ang sarili palayo. Frustrated and mad, I raked my hands on my hair. Nang huminto sa dulong hibla malapit sa batok ay sinabunutan ko ito.

"Get out." The growl rumbled in my chest. May kontrol pa ako sa sarili dahil hindi ko siya nasigawan na parang kasalanan  niya ang lahat.

"What?" I don't have to see if she looks stunned. "Dean, we've just—we're almost there..." And she sounded so brokenhearted, too.

Tumungo ako sa bar counter at nagsalin ng Cognac sa aking kopita. This should fucking calm me down. Only that in the end, I would make a fool of myself.

"Fix yourself. You know your way out. This can't go in public. Find someone else if you're really that horny." Then I chugged on the amber liquid.

Ilang sandali ang pagdaan ng katahimikan na nilibing ng tawa niyang walang lasa. I could hear the disappointment and ire that lingered along with the laugh.

"I guess what they said is true. You have a dirty mouth. Rude and crass, Dean Ortigoza."

Kung makapagsalita naman ay parang sineryoso ko siya. When I've only just met her a while ago.

My lips lifted for a sneer. Yes, I am living with that reputation. I could feel the loath radiating from you, hon. Sa nararamdaman ko ngayon ay wala na akong panahaon na pakialaman ang damdamin mo at ng ibang tao. To hell with your feelings when I could not even fix mine. 

Tinitigan ko ang kopitang pinaikot-ikot ko sa aking kamay. The nameless woman's  heels barbarically stabbed the tiles in her every step out of the door until it closes with a bang. Not a jumping nerve in my body has reacted as I lose myself inside the amber liquid. 

This drink always brings me warmth. As much as how she has always make me feel...

"These violent delights have violent ends, And in their triumph die, like fire and powder, Which, as they kiss, consume. The sweetest honey is loathsome in his own deliciousness.  And in the taste confounds the appetite..."

It took me three reads on this stanza alone before I got a good grip of its meaning. Hindi malaman kung bakit doon ako mas nagtagal, tumuloy ako sa kasunod na stanza. And sweet Lord! Why does this bother me so much?