Little Shy Ariel (ft. Harry Styles)

Chapter 19 - Older Brother

Chapter 19 - Older Brother

At night when I go to the retreat centre I still have the silly grin on my face. I just can’t rid of it. It’s just that finally doing something about my SAD[1], finally making contact with someone else makes me so happy. The possibility of actually making friends, for the first time in my life, is probably one of the greatest things that has happened to me. I know I’ll never be the confident and outgoing girl my mum though I would be when she chose my name, but at least I won’t be always alone now. I have a chance of actually making friends. I mean, there’s Harry now who for some crazy reason wants to be my friend. There’s Mare, who’s helping me and I’m helping her. And also Timmy… I never imagined how friendly and happy-go-lucky he could be. Now I get why my dad likes him so much, he surely makes my father company. I’m glad Timmy is with us.

I’m really making friends.

When I arrive to the music room there’s no one there, as usual, so I just do my job. Tuning the instruments, cleaning, tidying up. It seems like someone actually made use of this room today. It’s weird, I’m happy someone else is enjoying this place but at the same time I feel a bit upset. I guess it’s a bit of jealousy because these are not really my instruments, this place doesn’t belong to me. And it’s sad because I would like a place like this one.

Later, once I’m finished and when I decide to practice a bit of violin this night, the door opens. I am startled, but I don’t end up on my bum this time, which is a great improvement. I relax immediately when I see it’s only Mare walking in and not someone else. I know I’m making progress but let’s not push too far, I don’t know if I would be able to just talk to someone I’ve never seen before. All the people I’ve talked to so far are people I had seen before, people I had faced somehow. People I knew of.

“Hey there, Ari,” Mare greets. “Violin today? Is there any instrument you don’t know how to play?” she jokes easily approaching me.

“The bagpipe,” I reply and she laughs, she actually laughs although I’m serious. I really don’t know how to play that one. I haven’t even seen one in person.

“I bet you’d learn to play that in a day,” Mare affirms and I can’t help smile at how sure she sounds, how certain that I can actually learn to play the bagpipe in such a short spam of time. It’s so… rewarding to feel like someone believes in you so blindly, someone who’s not a relative and is bound to support you, like my father. “There’s something different in the way you look tonight, Ari. Something different in your eyes. They… they kinda sparkle.” Mare stares at me carefully, examining me from head to toe and a grin creeps to her lips slowly. “What happened to you today?”

I can’t help the big smile when I remember what happened this morning. “I talked to Carl,” I begin, “following my homework instructions. It was nice.”

“And what else?” Mare pushes me to keep talking, bumping hips with me and taking the violin away from me.

I feel heat coming to my cheeks and I turn away, hoping Mare won’t notice. “I-I met… I met this boy I told you about,” I confess in a whisper.

“Aw, you look so adorable when you blush, Ari! So you must really fancy this boy, uh?”

I freeze when I hear her. Fancy? Me? Harry? That possibility never crossed my mind before. I mean, I like Harry, he seems a really nice boy but fancying him sounds so… I don’t know how to explain it. Out of character, I guess. I’ve never liked someone before in that way. I’ve never felt attracted to someone, I don’t even think I would know if I fancy someone. All I did until now was hiding from people. Having a celebrity crush is not the same as fancying someone. To really like someone you have to get to know them, a celebrity crush is just a fantasy; it’s completely different.