What If

Chapter 46

It had been a long week. Don't really know what it was, but it felt much longer than usual. It was almost as if each day didn't want to end. But since it was all school days, I wanted them to end more than anything. Thankfully, it was Friday. The end was finally here. My impatience was finally rewarded and I could start having fun over the weekend.

Except the day was only half over. The bell had just rung for lunch and I was figuratively starving. My mom had packed me a tuna sandwich with a side of pickles and chips, or crisps as they say here in England. I couldn't wait to dig in. I was always such a hungry person. I had better have money when I'm older so I can afford to actually feel full.

George and I have been discussing his song writing throughout the past two days, this morning included. And when I went back to his house the day before, he seemed to have improved greatly. It still wasn't anything good enough to call a professional song, but it was getting closer and closer to that quality in small increments.

Of course, we hushed up about it when Paul was around. George was still too embarrassed about his work to let Paul know what was going on. It was sad to see. It was obvious by his face that he wanted to prove himself to his friend so much, but he didn't have anything he could show or the confidence to show it.

I was looking forward to hanging out with them for lunch. For such future bad people, I hated to admit that I was becoming attached to them. At first, I wanted to be around them because they would one day be the Beatles and I wanted to see how everything would transpire. But now, that was almost secondary. I only ever had one real friend in the future, but now I considered these boys to be very good friends of mine. I had never been in a group of friends where everyone was close to everyone. I don't think I was as close to them as the rest of them were to each other though. I had only been here for a few months and they had been together for years. But still, I felt that I had people who weren't a part of my family that cared for me as if I was. And I can't describe that feeling other than great.

Of course, that doesn't mean what they've done or what they will do has been forgotten. I was still very conscious of that. All the time. I had to keep reminding myself that these seemingly nice boys were capable of such heartbreaking things. Their daily kindness was deceiving to that fact and I was sure no one in this time and place was any the wiser besides myself. I had convinced myself that perhaps I could change them to be better people. People little kids would be proud to call inspirations and could love both their music and them as the individuals they were. Of course, if I succeeded, it could risk screwing up the future, but I was pretty sure that I had done that plenty already. I definitely had to make sure the Beatles would still happen though.

My arms were sore again from carrying so many books throughout the first half of the day. I shoved them all in my locker carelessly and rubbed my arms where the textbook edges created red dents. I needed a new strategy for the mornings so I didn't have to carry so many heavy items. I always came home spotted from schoolbooks digging into my skin.

A hand reached out and closed my squeaky-hinged locker right in front of my face. Leaning up against the other side was Natasha with a big smirk stretched across her face and a thick book held across her chest.

"Hi, Colleen," she greeted, smugness dripping from her voice.

I looked at her strangely, lifting an eyebrow. I hadn't talked to Natasha since she and I had that almost-fight weeks before. Her name hadn't even been mentioned shortly after. "What do you want, Natasha?" I asked rather plainly.

"Oh, I just wanted to see how you were," she answered, twisting one of the curls in her hair around her finger. "I thought you could possibly be emotionally drained. The entire school is talking about you after all."