What A Kiss Is

Chapter Twenty-two

Twenty-Two

“I sent the first few chapters of your book to my literary agent,” Dad says.

“What?” I take another long drink of coffee. I feel hung over from my day yesterday. From crying with Amber in the sand, soaked and freezing. From letting some of Mom go. It’s left me feeling raw and hollowed out, but lighter. I’m actually going to be moving forward now.

“My lit agent. It’s not what he reps, but he has a good friend he wanted to pass it along to, if that’s okay.”

“Uh…”

“Did you not want it to be published?” Dad asks.

“No. I mean, yeah, I did. He liked it?”

“He loved it. Then he teased me about being the commercial fiction writer I am when my son’s sure to win awards.”

“Holy Shit.”

Dad peers over his glasses as if in warning.

“Sorry.”

“Can he pass it along?”

“Yeah.” I’m stunned. In shock. Someone loves my writing. Someone who doesn’t know me.

“Good.” Dad smiles. “It’s a nice way to make a living.”

“Guess so.” I nod and look at our surroundings.

“You never thought I made much, did you?”

“I…”

“I don’t make what your mom did, that’s for sure. But I’m a saver, always have been.”

“Oh.”

“You’ll far surpass me, I’m sure. Not that it’s about money.”

“You’re on an Oyster, Dad. And I’m starting to learn that’s kind of a big deal.”

His grin is proud. “You got me there.” His eyes go back to his computer.

“Lit agent. Crazy. Thanks, Dad.”

“I’m so proud of you, Antony.” Our eyes meet again. And the thing that hits me now is I’m looking into Dad’s eyes for real, they’re the same brown eyes as Mom’s, but really, the same brown eyes as mine. I wonder how much more we have in common.

- - -

Five emails a day. Ten if I really want it. This is what I tell myself. It’s been three days since my day at the beach. Amber’s cramming for her finals. I don’t take home-school classes that force finals. I’m pretty much done with school. Dropping a few tears is part of email and mail and all that, but I’m surviving it. It’s not searing like it was. It’s almost like resignation, or maybe that love’s so mixed in with the sadness that it feels different.

Dad’s voice mixes with Amber’s on the back deck. I close the computer. Today I’ll be done with five.

I watch Amber through the crack in the door as I sit at the table. She’s talking with Dad in her light bubbly voice. She’s wearing what she always does, but her hair looks shinier or something, and I think she even might have put on some makeup. I can see her lashes from here.

“You two have fun.” She waves as Dad steps off the boat and meets Lynn on the dock.

Our eyes catch through the door, and like a moron, I’m frozen to the spot. This isn’t like me at all. I don’t freeze around girls. Especially not ones I like. Especially not ones like…well, Amber is how I was going to finish that, but I guess she’s the only girl who has made me freeze.