One Way Or Another ( Tom X F!Reader ) DISCONTINUED

Chapter 2: Last Resort

                   Tom

I can't breathe. Nor can I see. I fade in and out of consciousness​ rapidly. I am versatile. The clearest thing in my memory is the alcohol. The foggy glass of toxicity​ that fills my mouth and taints my body. That's why I'm like this. I'm never one way or the other for sure. I'm constantly hazy and switching..

I wake at the barstool of a desolate club. Devoid of music and people, this whole thing feels like a dream. It's silent, except for the tap dripping behind the bar counter. But it's not long before overwhelming sounds and sights disturb me. The silence was a mere side effect of the liquids I had ingested earlier that night. A hallucination driven by the indulgence of alcohol. There was a sharp ringing in my ears and I slammed my head down on the counter and held it desperately. Go away.. Go away.

And eventually

It did.
Everything was in order, people dancing and shouting, the clink of drink cups and bass of the music pulsating on the ground near everyone's feet. The club was booming and I had gone here to escape something I'm constantly reminded of. Only I know who it is I'm searching for, and I keep telling myself I'm trying, but I'm pathetic.
A disgusting waste of life for doing nothing when she's out there scared and alone.

I stumble off of the leather stool in hopes of finding a bathroom. Pushing the door open, I limp to the nearest stall. My face is cold and I don't dare try to help my condition. All I do is wretch uncontrollably into the toilet, gripping the seat. My body moves when I do this, trembling and violently jerking. After the awful action occurs, I am so weak I can do nothing but sob.

This isn't poetic, or beautiful. It's disgusting. I've never been this in need of someone before. I need her. I'm so selfish. Gripping the porcelain, my tears roll down my pale cheeks. My body is cumbersome and numb. What would she think of me now?

I stand, and I struggle to no surprise, holding onto the stall walls. No. I won't let myself be weak. I need to be strong. I'm dizzy and my pulse is in my head and my ears ring again.

Stop it. Stop it.

You're better than this. She needs you.

I rise to my feet and open the door. My feet still shake and I can barely stumble forward, but I walk. I do it for her. It's not an easy feat to continue on without her, but I'll find her. If it's the last thing I do. Walking out of the bathroom and out of the club and onto the sidewalk.

I don't remember much of what happened, but I ended up home, in my upstairs room where clothes were strewn everywhere. All I know is every morning I wake without her and it hits me in the stomach like a sucker punch. I am not a man of intense emotion, but (Y/N) brought out a side of me that was unbelievably passionate. Bleak Thomas was thrown out the window and I began to change willingly for her without knowing until now when the grief knawed at me. I knew the Red Army must've taken her after what happened with Tord and me and my hungover self had hatched a plan to retrieve her. By now, I was used to the prospect of danger. The robot, and such. All his traumatic experiences lead back to that God forsaken organization and he would put an end to it.

I pour myself coffee and the room is quiet. It always is without her with me and I've grown used to it now. It still makes my mourning harder to handle. I flip on the radio and allow the aimless noise to fill my emptiness as I devise my plan at the breakfast table. I will find her. I will find her..

An.
Switching perspectives????
Anyways yeah :-)
Ily y'all !