Do looks really matter? They do. Everyone tells you they don't but when it comes down to it people judge you before you can even say hello based on your appearance. They automatically assume what you are like. You don't even have a fair chance at a first impression, because everyone has already convinced themselves that they know you. They don't. People are attracted to other people solely based off of appearances, personality having nothing to go with it. At all. I learnt this a long time ago. Heck, I grew up knowing this. Maybe that's why I have always worked so hard to look perfect. But somehow, no matter how much make up I use, no matter what clothes I wear, and no matter how many meals I skip, I will never look perfect, or anywhere near it. Which completely sucks. Everywhere I go I see pictures of girls on magazines with perfect bodies (I know, photoshop). Yesterday I saw a picture of a celebrity with a normal body, but the headline read that she was "eating herself to death". What the heck is wrong with society? This type of thinking has been drilled into my brain though. Every time I look in the mirror, I just see ugly and imperfect. Do you know how hard that is? Yes, I know, everyone has insecurities. But do you know what it is like to truly hate your body? I have given up more than just my health in an attempt to be pretty. I don't keep any pictures of myself because I hate them all. It's not just me though. People are constantly telling me things about my appearance that are contradictory. One day I am fat, the next I am a twig. I am ugly then beautiful. But when I look around and see all of the beautiful girls around me, which do you think I believe? Don't ever call me beautiful. And if you do, definitely do not turn around and call me ugly. That hurts even worse.
Anyways, I guess that's it for this chapter. Nothing too deep yet. If you actually read this, I don't know if you are actually interested or just really bored. But congrats, you made it through.
