*this chapter is from a few weeks ago, during Harvey, I forgot to post it*
My life is a bit like a hurricane. One that won't end until I do. There is loss, there is being scared, there is hiding and escaping and things changing constantly and never knowing what is going to happen next. And none of it seems good.
My best friend was a male. I am a female. He was amazing. Funny. An idiot. Kind of cute. He fell for me day one, and somewhere down the road I fell for him too. Eventually, he asked me out. In person. Best. Feeling. Ever. (guys, write that down). The thing is, he was my best friend. He knew me inside and out. He had seen me crying without makeup. Now, I am very scared of letting people in. Especially the whole "dating" thing. I hate the idea of giving someone a piece of your heart, because in my experience, they always crush it. I decided he was worth the risk. I knew him the same way he knew me. Every part, inside and out. Or so I thought.
Two weeks went by. Two. Freaking. Weeks. He and I found out we had very different views on.. Dare I say the word.. Sex. He was desperate to lose it before he turned 18. I was determined to wait until I was married. In two weeks, he pressured me not once, not twice, but THREE times to do it with him. I politely said no and explained my beliefs all three times. Before that, he thought I was the hottest girl in the world. Then I find out, from his two exes (!?) that he was planning on dumping me because "I was ugly and had no ass". (he knew I had an eating disorder!) I found out, dumped him, then asked him about it. He said he didn't remember but he could have said it. Facepalm. Then he said that I was hot. Facepalm. Then he told me he was going to dump me because I annoying him. FACEPALM.
So now I have decided to take a long and well deserved break from dating.
