whisper | rilaya

six

Since the day I met Dani, the words real dad has been replaying in my head like a broken record. I wanted to hate her for what she said, the same way I want to hate Shawn for coming into my life so unexpectedly. Except the truth is, that she wasn't wrong. Before my mom met Shawn, I never did have a real dad in my life. Just poor excuses for men that my mom would bring home.

Riley and I eventually agreed that if this was a long term thing, we wouldn't be able to survive together in my tiny room. On a loud Saturday night, I snuck the girl behind my  oblivious parents who were too concentrated on the TV to notice us and took her downstairs to the basement.

I was going to miss waking up to her optimism each morning, but she needed time alone to remember who she was. Besides, her snoring was only cute for the first two days.

In an effort to communicate with her, I gave Riley my old flip phone and taught her how to text on it. We found a perfectly good condition iPhone 5 in her hoodie pocket but she couldn't remember the password to it so it was useless to us.

Her lockscreen was a picture of her being piggybacked by a teenage boy our age. He was tall and lean with neatly gelled dark hair that was slicked back on his head.

"Who's that?" I asked, knowing that I probably wouldn't receive an answer anyways.

She shook her head, confirming my suspicions. "No idea. He looks familiar though. I think he meant a lot to me."

For an instant, Riley smiled like she was remembering something beautiful that happened between her and the boy. She looked happy in that picture. Riley used to glow and now something has taken that away from her.

"Did you remember something?" I asked, bringing her out of her own thoughts.

She hesitated for a split second, before shaking her head no. I had a feeling there was something that Riley was hiding from me but I didn't want to push her.

The room became silent and we both went back to organizing a living space for her. My mom and Shawn never went down to the basement so this location was ideal. I'm not even sure if either of them knew that we have a basement.

I shook those thoughts aside, deciding that I'll deal with then if they ever decide to come down here.

Riley walked up behind me while I was setting a cardboard box aside. "Are you upset with me?" She spoke carefully, choosing her words with taste.

I shook my head and turned around to face her. "No. I just don't understand why you're keeping secrets from me." I replied.

"So you're mad at me?" Riley says in a sad tone.

"If you put it like that, then yeah, I am mad at you."

She took a step forward and reached out to touch my arm soothingly. "Maya, I don't remember who he is. Please believe me."

"Why were you smiling like that then? I know you remembered something Riley. Don't lie to me." I spat bitterly. I'm not sure where all of my anger came from but something about seeing Riley with him in that picture made me seethe with jealously

She took a step back from me cautiously. "I'm sorry."

The way she momentarily cowered back in fear made me want to scream at the top of my lungs. I was the reason she was scared. In that moment, all I wanted to do was hold her tight and tell her that she can trust me. That she doesn't have to feel the need to apologize for everything.