whisper | rilaya

seventeen

Lucas and I focused on looking down at our synchronized footsteps instead of talking to each other. Casual conversation with other people has always been a difficult task for me. Except for when I met Riley. Conversation between the two of us flowed seamlessly. We could talk for hours on end and would only ever stop because apparently sleep is something you needed to survive.

Kicking a small pebble with the toe of my sneaker, I looked up at Lucas. In complete darkness with only the light from the street lamps above us shinning down, his face looked flawless. It was constructed to perfection, I could see how girls would trip and fall over themselves just to win him over. "Lucas?"

"Yeah?" He answered casually, keeping his gaze on the walk ahead of us in the quiet neighbourhood we were entering.

"Were you and Riley ever more than friends?" I bit my lip, praying that he would say no. However, the way they greeted and touched each other after being separated for so long worried me.

The boy chuckled, his deep laugh ringing in echoes into the night. "Are you really jealous of me?" He paused. "It doesn't matter anyways, I saw the way she looks at you Maya. I don't know what's going on between you two but her face lights up, like she falls in love with you all over again every time you look at each other."

I blushed, feeling only slightly more sure about myself after hearing somebody else's perspective. "Don't avoid my question." I warned. "Just tell me if you two ever had a thing for each other."

He swallowed, turning down a street corner and gesturing for me to follow. After 20 unbearable seconds of silence, he answered me. "Yes."

It's odd when you think about how insecurities can go from a thought in the back of your mind to a giant flashing sign in front of you. Lucas was strong, levelheaded and socially accepted. He was everything I could never be or give to Riley.

Swiftly, I wiped a stray tear from my cheek with the back of my palm, trying to make it as inconspicuous as possible.

Despite my efforts, Lucas noticed my sudden loss of confidence. "I'll have you know she broke up with me by the way. Riley told me that she could never love a boy the way she was supposed to."

He sighed, reminiscing to a time when all of their minor teenage drama seemed so significant. "After we broke up, someone outed her, so Mason became her beard. Her biggest fear had come true and everyone could tell that she was barely staying afloat. Her smile was the dead giveaway." Lucas said sadly. "It stopped being genuine."

We walked up to the front steps of Farkle's house. It was a large, 3 story house built with some of the finest materials I had ever seen.

"You should stop talking about her breakdown like that. You're making her sound more and more capable of murder." I teased, my finger hovering above the doorbell, before pressing it.

Lucas gave me a serious look. "I don't know that the truth is anymore Maya. I'm helping you because I want to believe it isn't true but..."

Before he could finish his train of thought, Farkle swung the door open. The bags under his eyes had faded slightly and his messy hair wasn't nearly as messy as it used to be.

"Hey, whats up?" He greeted, with a faint smile, pretending to be pleased to see us.

"Can we come in?" I asked politely even though I was already pushing him out of the way because it was really freaking cold at night.