In a Perfect World

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

            "As we remember the precious days of our lives we..." Jamie, the valedictorian droned on.

            It was finally graduation day and in just a few short minutes, hopefully, I would finally be a high school graduate.  Hayley could look at me when she's older and be proud that I had graduated high school.  But not only will I be a high school graduate, I would also have a college degree in another four years.  I was accepted to UCLA, the only school I had applied to, and I was ready to be I college student with Damien.  Ella decided to attend Santa Monica Community College and the rest of our friends were traveling all across the United States to attend college.

            Before having Hayley, graduating high school was just another item off my list that needed to be checked off in order to become successful in life, but after having a baby, graduating high school became something completely different.  The feeling that brewed within me was what I worked for since finding out about Hayley.  There were many ups and downs, but I worked hard to be where I was today and gave up a lot to graduate on time with my friends.  I missed out on a whole semester of my junior year and I had to grow up fast.  Hayley was the shining star in my life; she made it worth everything I had given up.  I struggled a lot with homeschool when I returned to high school, there were so many days when I just wanted to give up and drop out, but I made it.

            The past six months were hard and I almost didn't get straight A's this year.  After winter break ended, school only became more demanding for both Damien and me and although he visited Hayley, he only came by on Saturdays and on some Saturdays Hayley would be with his parents.  I know he wanted to come by to see Hayley and me more, but his study load increased during the last two quarters of his first year.  And I spent every day of my life exhausted.  Finding the balance between being a parent and being a student was hard.  Despite my parents and Damien’s parents being able to watch Hayley when I was at school, we made it clear that Hayley’s care fell solely on me, and so when I got out of school Hayley was with me.  I spent every moment Hayley was awake waiting on her hand and foot and when she finally went to sleep, I could study uninterrupted.  At times I was up until one or two in the morning, but more often then not, I was studying until five in the morning, I tried to get a few hours of sleep every night before waking up and going through the same routine at six in the morning.  My life didn't seem to have distinct days anymore; it all just seemed like one continuous day.

            With a quiet yawn I remembered one of the few days, in the past six months, when I slept for more than an hour, a night that was different from most others.  It seemed like my only break from the endless day I seemed to live.   

One Month Ago

            "Oh my God," Mom squealed as I walked into the foyer.  "I can't believe this day has finally come!"

            "Mom, please don't," I pleaded, raising the skirt of my dress up so that it didn't drag on the ground. I rolled my eyes as she pulled me into her arms excitedly and squeezed tightly.  “Mom, I can’t breath.”

            "What? I can't help it!  It's prom night!" she squealed again, only slightly loosening her grip.  "It's supposed to be the best night of your life!  I’ve been so excited for you, especially since I didn’t even know if you would be able to go"

            “I don’t think Ella would ever let me miss my own prom,” I told her, twisting myself out of her arms.  I pushed back a few loose strands of my curled hair behind my ear as my mom retrieved her camera on the table a few feet away and she began taking pictures randomly.  “What are you doing?  Gosh, calm yourself mother.”