prologue: happy

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Last night I walked around in the dark, Castiel wrote, and it felt like the whole world was quiet around me, as if I was the only living human in the universe. I passed by the almost empty community pool. The only things in there were two ducks sitting next to each other. Nothing else. It sounds stupid, but they seemed happy to be together. It was a strange feeling to be content with being the only person in the world, to suddenly wishing there was someone else with me.

And with that, Castiel closed the journal. He had started writing in a journal two years ago to the advice of his older sister, Anna. He had thought it was stupid, but she was worried about him. Castiel had just come out as trans and Anna wasn't stupid. She knew what he would go through, and that he might not even ask for help. So she gave him a journal. Told him to write in it. Hoped he would use it, not go insane. Castiel rolled his eyes, but took it anyways, and has written in it ever since, not that he's told anyone that.

Anna is the "mother" of the Novak household. She's the second oldest next to Michael (who's away at college) and is the one to make sure everyone stays in line. Their dad Chuck, being a single dad of eight kids, works too much to keep up with everyone.

Balthazar, Lucifer, and Gabriel- they're the handful. Good kids, hard workers, good grades...but their idea of a good time is doing exactly the opposite of what their supposed to do, and ultimately scaring the shit out of Anna. At least they've got their gpa going for them, right?

Raphael is serious and quiet, not at all expected. His siblings love him to death, though. And he's always there for them. He and Castiel are the main caretakers of their little seven year old brother, Samandriel, a bubbly little boy who's favorite place to go is the Wiener Hut stand down the street.

Castiel, in between all his siblings, couldn't wait to leave his cramped house and change his dysphoric body. He had a plan; graduate high school, go anywhere to rent a cheap apartment, work on his photography and get some shitty daytime job. He'd make new friends, and he'd be okay.

But for now, he wrote in his journal. He shared a room with Gabriel. He took care of Samandriel. He did his work. He put up with his school. He lived, and he waited.

A/N: not completely happy with this prologue, but I like where this story is going now :)

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