Akeldama | lrh

eleven - new

"For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one."

-Khalil Gibran

•••

The next morning, everything seems to be grey.

My hands are dusted with it when I wake up and slip on my shoes, the blanket around my shoulders is the color of faded charcoal. The atmosphere is shrouded in shadows, and the walls of the parking garage are no different.

We're several floors up, high in the air. I can see the crumbled black wreckage of buildings stretching on for miles. To avoid mutants, I'm assuming. I don't know where we are. I don't care.

I wrap my arms around myself as I make my way to the center of camp, goosebumps surfacing across my skin. Everyone is up and eating breakfast, but Jess and Ashton are nowhere to be found.

Jess. Her family. If mine was the way they were... there's no chance hers is still alive.

This in mind, I stumble through the different areas trying to find her, trying to find the one person that's in the same boat as me. That understands.

I do find her, but she is not alone. As I turn a corner into another parking square, I skid to a stop.

She's still asleep, but completely and totally wrapped up in Ashton. He's got his arms around her, holding her tightly against his body. They're both wrapped up in tons of blankets. There's a clear gleam of dried tear tracks on her face.

There's no use waking them. I turn around, making my way numbly back to center camp. It's like my whole body is on autopilot. My thoughts are black sludge. I barely remember last night, just flashes of sadness, warm lips and a fire.

A steady numbness is beginning to work its way through my body, clouding my head and tucking the horrible thoughts away. I welcome it.

It takes me longer then it should to find the others, and when I do, my first thought is this can't be everyone. There's only twenty people at most, all surrounding one large fire. This includes the survivors. My eyes frantically search out Xavier, then Ivy, then Georgia. Her little boy is asleep in her arms, dirt streaking his puffy cheeks. Her eyes are closed in what I assume to be discomfort. Thank God they're still alive.

Almost everyone has some form of bruise, cut or wound somewhere on their bodies. They must have had to fight, all because of me. The mutants.

Zay stands up the second I enter the area, and envelopes me in a hug. Somehow, he makes a one-armed embrace feel like three at the same time. I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him back gratefully, pushing back the tears threatening to make a reappearance from the night before. I need to remain calm. It's the only way to stay sane.

"I'm so sorry, Bindy." Zay whispers, his grip tight around my back, grounding me. "I'm so sorry."

His expression is somber when I pull away, and I nod, but don't say anything. I put the back of my hand against his cheek for a moment, trying to tell him thank you in a way words can't, before turning away.

I look down at my hands, the cotton stretched across my palms. I squeeze them into fists. The slight sting soothes my nerves.

Nobody really says anything as I sit down, but Ivy hands me a small bowl of food and gives me a sympathetic smile. I shovel it into my mouth even though I'm not hungry. It's some kind of egg and sausage mixture, but it all tastes the same to me right now.