❝ everything is perfect, baby ❞
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affairs, lust and a four year old child never go well together, and when david walliams' skit of being in love with simon cowell unexpectedly snowballs into more, he learns that it's impossible to have perfection la...
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• DAVID • Finished. This year's series of Britains Got Talent was finally finished. Heck, I enjoyed every minute of it, but this year seemed so... stressful. The thing that broke me the most was the fact that now BGT is over, soon it would be time for X Factor and that meant Simon would be preoccupied constantly.
It was noon when Simon got back from a meeting, his grey v neck t-shirt taught against his chest. The second he walked through the door, I enveloped him into a hug.
"Hey?" He chuckled at my gesture, smiling. "Sorry, but you didn't even say bye this morning." I sheepishly replied, blushing. "You were sleeping, and it was adorable. I didn't want to wake you." He answered, walking into the kitchen and sitting on the barstool. "I've got a surprise for you. I-" he continued, smirking. "Are you gonna take your clothes off for it?" I cheekily interrupted. "David!" He exclaimed. "Sorry, carry on."
"I managed to get you a job at X-Factor." He grinned. I stared at him, shocked. "But, I know nothing about singing!" I exclaimed excitedly. "I know that, stupid... You're going to be the new host!" Simon replied. I jumped up and down excitedly, hugging him. "Oh my god, this is great." I squealed, kissing his lips. I pulled away. "Simon?" I pondered. "Yes?" He responded. "Now can you take off your clothes off?" I asked, smirking.
• 1 month later
Oh my God, I thought, what am I going to wear? I know what you're thinking. What happened to Lara, Lauren, the stalker who took photos of us? We still don't know. "Babe?" I yelled down the stairs. "Yeah?" Simon called towards me from the kitchen. "What do I wear?" "You look great in anything. Just wear whatever you want." He replied as he began jogging up the stairs, taking two steps at a time.
"So, umm... Dave?" He asked tentatively. "Yeah?" I grinned. "Would you mind if today, after the first round of auditions, Eric could come round? To, like, sleep over?" He questioned. "Lauren's letting you?" I exclaimed in shock. The last month had been full of court battles and trying to give Simon partial custody of Eric.
He thrusted a letter in my face, and I scanned the words. To sum it up simply, it was a document saying that Simon had the right to see Eric equally with Lauren. I hugged him, kissing his cheek. "Yes, that would be wonderful. Is his room ready?" I questioned.
Simon had officially moved in to my house now, and we'd been converting my spare room into a bedroom for Eric, in hope that we'd eventually be allowed to have him stay. The plan was to eventually buy our own house, but we wanted to wait a while before we did that.
"Come on, David! You look fine..." Simon whined, trying to drag me out of the door and towards the limousine parked outside my house. I checked my hair one last time before sighing and accepting my appearance, grabbing Simon's hand and walking out the door.
As we pulled up outside the studio, he gripped my knee in reassurance, before asking, "Are you nervous?" I scoffed. "I'm never nervous, babe." "Are you nervous?" He repeated. "Yep." I quietly answered before stepping out the limousine and onto the small red carpet leading into the studio. I wore a navy blue suit with a pale blue tie, whereas Simon wore a black v neck with buttons on the neck, and blue jeans. The crowds of auditionees screamed in approval as Simon exited the car. "Really f*cking nervous." I repeated under my breath. I squeezed his hand for my own benefit and reassurance.
As we walked into the studio, I anxiously asked questions to him. What if they don't like me? What if they hate me because I know nothing about singing? What if they don't like me because I'm gay? What if they don't like me because I'm dating you?
"David, c'mon, you're over reacting now. They're all really nice. And you spoke to Sharon on the phone on BGMT and the other day, and you take the mick out of Louis Walsh all the time so he shouldn't be a problem, and then Nicole is lovely and thinks you're hilarious. Stop panicking, darling." Well, that was probably my favourite thing in the world. I thought. I loved when Simon called me darling. There was something about the way he said it that made my heart jump around in my ribcage.
We entered back stage and I was immediately wrapped into a hug my Nicole, who pulled away and held me at arm length. "Hi!" She exclaimed. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad, after all.
• AUTHOR • Heh :) I know it's short but there's gonna be more coming sooooooon. Like, really soon. As in, maybe an hour because I'm gonna write the next one straight away ;) So, what do you think about David being a host on X-Factor - it's a unique story line and I'm hoping it works.
What did you all think of BGT last night? Poor Alesha, everyone calling her drunk 😂 And Amanda seemed very eager to pour water over Simon. The judges were so cute last night. It was adorable, we have to admit.
Anyways :D Vote Comment Tell your friends and annoy them ;)
STORY RECOMMENDATION: A song fic by @thatweirdfanficgirl Go check it out, and tell her I sent you :)
