Love You More

PART FOUR: THREE

T-DUBS @tatewinter

I have never in my life loved anyone as much as I love you. You are the most beautiful girl. Thank you, God for giving me her sweet kisses and contagious laughter.

Tate's POV

"I love you, Daddy." Poppy whispered into my ear, wrapping her small arms around my neck while she laid on my chest. I kissed her head and held her small body against me. She really was so perfect. So sweet.

"I love you more."

She fell asleep not too long into our Disney extravaganza and I was left watching Anastasia by myself. I didn't mind, it was my third time doing this and I could probably recite the movie by now. It's Ariana's favorite too. She had gone upstairs not that long ago to shower and go to bed.

She's been great. Helping me with Poppy and all. I think she likes having her around. They shop while I'm at practice and she watches her when I'm away for games. She doesn't complain and she does it all with a smile. I do feel bad. Neither of us expected a toddler to appear on my doorstep but she's a good thing. She makes me happier.

I laid Poppy in her bed upstairs and made my way into Ari's room, her door was open and her light was still on. I plopped onto her bed and took the book from her hands. "You doing ok?" I asked her, tossing the paperback to the side. "I know it's been a lot but I appreciate you letting us stay here. My place was definitely not ready for a kid."

"Tate, you've done so much for me. I just want to be there for you and you're doing great with her. I mean, she adores you." She smiled while I crawled over to kiss her cheek. She welcomed me between her legs and grinned wide. "I also don't mind you living here."

"Well, I do recall us living together is what started all of this." I chuckled, pulling the tie of her satin robe and slid my hands on to her warm skin. "But, really, how are you doing, baby? You've been going through a lot and this adding on to it can't be easy."

"I'm ok. It feels good having people around honestly. I'm not alone all the time and Poppy is so sweet. I just, I don't know, I get this feeling sometimes that like," she shook her head and sighed. "Never mind."

"What, baby?" I raised my eyebrows at her and she shook her head. Her cheeks were pink and her eyes stayed away from mine. She was embarrassed to tell me. "Ari, tell me what's on your mind."

"I love Poppy, Tate. I know she's your daughter and I'm just helping but I really love having her around." I smiled, knowing what she was saying. Poppy wasn't hard to adore but she feels like she shouldn't adore her so much because she's not her Mom. She didn't have her. I knew that bothered her. Because I always told her she would have my kids. "Am I wrong to wish she was ours?"

"Ari," I sat up, holding her legs in my lap while I tried to find a way to say what I wanted to say. "Her mom is gone. She's not coming back. She needs someone, she needs me and she needs you. Her life is going to be hard with Lana gone, ok? But, you can be there for her. Teach her all the girl things she needs to know because you know that I can't do that. I'm a football player. I'm not in touch with my feminine side yet." She giggled, tilting her head to the side. "If you want a baby, I'm all for making one but if you want to be her Mom, you can be. I won't deny you that."

"Tate, I just want to belong somewhere."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, since I left my job, I feel like I don't really have a purpose. You have Poppy and football and I just sit here." She bit her pink bottom lip and I frowned. I don't want her to be down. She deserved every thing in the world and I had done a bad job at reminding her that. I put her on the back burner, leaving her in her pain. But I can't forget that she needs me. Just like I need her.

"Love," I placed my hands on her face and brought her head up, peering down at her. "You are incredible at anything you do. You push your whole world aside every time I need you. You brought a child that you did not have to take responsibility for, into your home. You've put up with me for years, baby. My own mother couldn't even do that. I love you. So fucking much and it kills me to know that I fucked up so bad with us. I will always be in love with you. It's not anything to do with your unmatchable beauty and abilities in bed either," I grinned at her and she barely giggled but I was getting somewhere. "It's your heart. It's bigger than the world and one day, you're going to use it to move people."

"Why do you love me so hard?" She pressed her palm on my cheek and her thumb on my lips.

"You loved me when I was stupid kid with nothing. You loved me when I was a cocky college athlete that thought he had everything. You loved me when I didn't love myself. You loved me through my pain and you've always been there. You are the most consistent thing in my life and it would be against my faith in God if I didn't love what he's continuously given me. I'm going to love you through the pain your in because that's what I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to be your rock and if you want to push me, push me but I will always be back because I need you. I will always need you."

"I love you, Tate." She said softly, making my heart beat quicken. It had been so long since she'd said it like that. "What if she doesn't want me as her mom?" She asked, pressing her hand back to my cheek. "What if this doesn't work?"

"She'll understand, baby. You give her your all and that makes you more of her mother than the woman that left her on my doorstep." I pressed my forehead against hers and she sighed, her eyes closing. "You're my forever, Ari."