The Story That Will Never Be Told

why i do what i do

Your probally thinkings what the hell dose this title mean well if u continue reading this you will find out. Well its been one fucked up life mom wants me dead boyfriend gives two shits about me and all my family is dying why eles would i not go tho depression and anxiety heres why and where it all began.

Well lets go back into the year of 2016 the year where i turned the big 13 the year everything went wrong. Well when i first got my phone i have gotton text messages from my mom saying " Next time you come out here you can just go find a ditch and go kill yoyr self i never wanted or loved you " then it only got worse from there. From then on she has pointed guns to my head and thrown knives at me and done many worse things "she never really love me she wouldnt care if i died " the vocies only gotton worse feom the they started saying more and more things to the point i was crying to get them out of my head i couldnt lose them i completly lost my mind i have nothing left to life i dobe deserve to be here i dobt devered to be loved theres no future for me theres no life for the ending of me

Then it went on to finding out theres no reason for me to be with the only man i love the only person that i care for with him caring for me finding out theres nore out there for him then just me i mean yes i know that im neing a big bitch and baby about all if this shit but once i tell u what he had done to me u will be like why dont u just leave him. I will tell u why i wont leave him for all the shut he puts up with, with me im not that perfect gift from heaven im that bipolar dysfunctional stubborn gives two shits person that would kill ur ass if you pissed them off kinda of girl. Yeah i know your all prbally thinking what the fuck is wrong with you. You need to get a life yeah yeah i know what all going though your guyes heads well your only in the beging it only get worse. It gose from the good life because i didnt understand what went on at the time until i finally fugured out what was all going on. So this was all a blurr until the age of 5 then I relized that what the hell is going on my moms a whore wants nothing to do with me and dad is working like no tomarrow to support me and my litttle broth with also no help from anyone so when i finally relized that everything was getting better i lost it alland i lost it all because realty hit me there was no life no nothing no heart no home no nothing we lost are house once and we may lose it again we are struggling on the edge just to stand where we stand we struggle like no other and yes i know there are people out there that are in a worse conditions then i am but the way we are going it wont. But no one should struggle the struggle i struggled. I know that alot of struggles but when the mental pain physically hurts you thats when u need help unless your like me and just want to struggle tho it your self.