Random Things

Coming Out

My whole life I knew that I liked boys, which was what was exciting expected of me. But I also liked girls the same way.  In elementary school, it was a thing where the boys would chase the girls and that meant that they liked them. Sometimes I would be on the girls team, but if there was a girl I fancied playing I would join the boys side.

It wasn't until I reached 7th grade when I learned the word "bisexual". I had heard of being gay or straight, but I just thought I was one or the other and I would figure it out. I hid my new found label from everyone, as well as my liking of girls.

Until my 13th birthday. My parents had allowed me to have some friends over for a sleepover and they would be gone for a while to friends house while my older sister watched over us. Back then I had a crush on my best friend, we will call her Dana. I thought she was so pretty and we had so much in common. That night at my party, my friends and I decided to play spin the bottle. I was chosen to kiss a couple of my friends but they were like kisses you get from an auntie or a Grandma. When it came time for me to kiss Dana though, our kiss was different. She used her tongue and it shocked and excited me.

At that same moment, my sister and her friend walked in on us kissing. She didn't say anything then but gave me a look that said I was screwed. I ignored it and we continued to have our party.

The next day however, my parents asked me to stay behind at the dinner table. They told me that my sister had seen me "making out" with one of my friends of the same sex. They asked me if I was a lesbian and I answered honestly: no. I explained to them that I liked boys and girls the same way. They deduced it to being hormonal and going through puberty and that I would pick one eventually.

I was heartbroken. I finally told someone my feelings and they told me they weren't real. I didn't get any real guidance until nearly a year later when I was sent to the principals office for kissing a girl at lunch. I explained to the principal that the girl I was kissing was my girlfriend. He accused me of lying because I had been caught kissing his nephew a couple weeks before. He accused me of causing a disruption at school and called my parents. While I waited for them to pick me up, the guidance counsellor offered for me to sit in her office and have a Coke. I agreed and she asked me questions about my feelings. I told her that I like girls and boys the way I was expected to like boys. She explained to me that my feelings were natural and valid and that being bisexual was the real deal. I nearly cried with happiness to find someone who finally understood my feelings and help me to better understand mine.

That night I went home and searched the internet for bisexual. After weeding through the porn I found some really helpful articles that helped me understand myself better as well as tools to explain it to others.

Today I am an out and proud bisexual woman who's been with people of both genders and I will not tolerate someone telling me that my sexuality isn't real or call me horrible names.

Written in honour of Pride Month🌈