steven went inside the house and bird mmo was crying about rose and amethyst was eating evrying in the fridge and granite was just standing there.
"yep same shit as always" said steven. he decided to go to the barn to visit peridorito and lapissed off lazuli. he warped there and he heard fighting.
"ITS NOT a pHASE PERIDOT" lapis screamed "ITS WHO I AM"
steven walked into the barn and saw lapis in a new form. she looked like this:
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"whats going on" said steven
"she thinks shes emo" said peridot
"THATS BECAUSE I AM" said lapis
"no youre not its a phase lapis" said peridot
then lapis started crying and peridot ran over to her "omg are you okay I'm sorry" said peridot "the truth is I'm emo too"
"really" said lapis
"yeah" said peridot
then they started making out
"bye guys I'm gonna go drink bleach" said steven and he warped back to the temple
he warped back to the temple "guys ive been scarred for life" said steven
"what happened" asked Salt.
"come to the barn" said steven
so all the crystal gems warped to the barn. they stared at an emo lapis and an emo peridot sitting on the barn floor, making out. apparently peridot had changed her form while he was gone.
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(a/n: the emo peridot edit sucks I know I just wanted to give an idea of what she looks like)
suddenly, amethyst burst into tears "BABE YOURE CHEATING ON ME" she screamed
then peridot looked up "omg I'm so sorry" then she started making out with amethyst and lapis started crying too.
"what the hell" said garnet.
"wait guys!!" said steven "i have a solution!! you should have a threesome!" he said and immediately regretted it (a/n: the solution to the lapidot vs amedot ship wars tbh)
"that's a great idea!" said amethyst and then Lesbian Bird slammed the barn door shut, not wanting to ruin her precious child's innocent virgin eyes. what she didn't know is that steven looks at furry porn all the time on his phone, and tiger millionaire was actually his fursona. "lets go back to the temple" said garnet. so they warped back to the temple. garnet immediately unfused.
sapphire looked dead inside and ruby was enraged. "did you know that sapphire is a furry??" she screamed at steven "because I didn't!!" and sapphire shapeshifted into a cat and started yiffing. steven sweated nervously, not wanting anyone to find out that he was a furry too.
"Bird, fuse with me!" said Flame Baby. Then she grabbed bird mom's arm and they started dancing. they formed a vial of fire salt.
"hey steven wanna see my fursona" said sapphire. she reached her hand under her dress and pulled out a crumpled up piece of paper. she unfolded it and handed it to steven.
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steven was a furry but this was the most terrifying thing he had ever seen. so he walked away, and started drinking bleach.
