Complications (BxB)

Chapter SIX

Micah's POV*

Hesitantly wrapping my arm around him, I sighed in relief when he didn't push me away.

I stayed awake, listening to his heartbeat, feeling his breath, and smelling his hair. I must have stayed like that for hours. His body was so tense the whole time and it slowly broke my heart.

The shame that hit me when I realized what I had been doing was enough to make me loath myself for what I had done. It wasn't illegal anymore, but still...

How could I do that to my poor mate...

How could I do that to myself?

He is my other half and to think he almost rejected me was a stab to the heart.

I deserved it. I deserve worse than that..

He deserves better than me.

He could do so much better than me.

Shaking my head at the thoughts, I snuggled closer to my mate and put my head in his hair. It was then I could feel the tears staining my cheeks once again.

I closed my eyes tightly, trying to get the tears to stop and when they didn't, I got up slowly, as to not wake the angel that I didn't deserve next to me.

Walking towards the bathroom and drowning in my own self hatred, I couldn't help the want to punch something as an anger so strong grew in the pit of my stomach.

How in the fuck could I do that?! What the fuck is wrong with me?!

I grabbed at my hair and pulled at it as the tears blurred my vision yet again. I could feel my body heat pick up in anger which, idiotically, only made me more mad.

I had no right! I have no fucking right! How could I be so st-

My thoughts were cut off by a loud bang and when my hand started to throb, I knew the loud sound was caused by me.

I had punched a hole through the fucking bathroom door.

Quickly, I looked over to see if I had woken Blake.

I couldn't tell if I had since his back was to me.

Fuck.

Glancing back at the hole I made in the bathroom door my chest started to heave uncontrollably.

I haven't had a panic attack in so long. Not since... my last mate...

Tears were streaming down my face faster than before and soon whimpers of pain were escaping my lips as the heaving in my chest increased.

"How could I do t-that to him? How could I be such a monster?" I cried out, to no one except myself.

I slid down the wall and pulled my legs in close, dropping my head with a thunk as my sobbing grew more intense.

I'm so stupid...

"You aren't a monster."

Jerking my head up at the voice, I cried harder when I saw Blake above me, the sheet wrapped around his small body as if it would protect him. The darkness of the covers against the paleness of his skin was a sight, he looked so frail.

Staring at him in the dimly lit room I couldn't help but cry even harder, (if possible) wanting to hold him in my arms more than anything.

I didn't deserve that though, so instead, I hugged my knees tighter to my chest.