Masters of Mischief

II. Ali and the Is-He-Really-Singing Sorting Hat

Chapter Two: Ali and the Is-He-Really-Singing Sorting Hat

    My mind fluttered with anxiety, as I not so patiently waited for my name to be called.  Hoppy sat beside me, giving me the same nervous-yet-comforting smile that I knew mirrored back to her.  There was no way that we wouldn't be Gryffindors -- I had grown up hearing about their legendary house all my life, and I could not wait to sit at their table and dorm, joining in on their festivities and traditions.  It was about damn time that I joined them.
    "When are they going to start?" Hoppy asked hurriedly, while trying to remain calm on the surface.
    I just shrugged as I watched a man with a long white beard and silvery robes take to the podium.  I knew exactly who that was -- Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, former Gryffindor and current headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  He was legendary to the wizarding community, and I knew that I would have to earn a lot of brownie points to get him to know my name and tutor me.  I was going to be his star pupil, easily.  All I needed was time, and entry to the Gryffindor house.
    "We will now begin the Sorting Hat ceremony!" Dumbledore exclaimed, and the professor who led us into the Great Hall walked to the front of the stage with a scroll held firm in hand.  She stood beside a stool with an old, raggedy hat on it.
    "First years, I am Professor McGonagall, and I will now read your names in alphabetical order.  When your name is called, please come onto the stage and sit down.  The sorting hat will choose your house, and you will then join the rest of your house at the respective table," she said as matter-of-factly as one could.
    "Ah, ah, ah, Minerva," the hat spoke, causing us all to jump.  "You forgot one very important part of this tradition."
    She eyed the hat, suspiciously.  "And what would that be?"
    "My song!" the hat laughed, while she just looked like she was ready to pounce on him.
    I gave Hoppy a quick eye roll.  I mean, was this hat actually going to sing for us?  I just waited to get this over, and find myself and Hoppy with the rest of our fellow Gryffindors.
    Alas, he cleared his breath, and killed all our ears:

"Oh first years, oh first years,
I hope you bring such cheer
To the school community and your chosen house.
Three teams may lose, but one shall win.
Do your best, exceed it, and you may win.
Oh first years, oh first years,
Don't be afraid, as you step up on here,
And put your fate in me,
As I read your mind, as I read your heart.
Oh first years, oh first years,
I cannot wait to start!
To see if you hone the bravery of Gryffindor,
Or if you're as cold as a snake in Slytherin.
Perhaps you have the loyalty of a Hufflepuff,
Or maybe you are a wise Ravenclaw!
Oh first years, oh first years!
Minerva, read the names,
And we shall find out who puts their family to shame!

And let us begin!"

    McGonagall stood there, using all of her willpower to not roll her eyes.  She almost succeeded.  "Thank you, Sorting Hat, for such an insightful and uplifting song.  Now, first years, all four houses are brilliant in their own ways -- and each of you will find your place at one, no matter where you are placed.  As the Sorting Hat said, there is Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw.  May the odds be ever in your favor."
    For some reason unbeknownst to myself, Hoppy seemed to get really excited at that line, forgetting her nerves.  She started jumping in her seat, as subtly as she could, and turned to look at me with... the look.
    You know, the look.
    The look of a fangirl, holding back her squeals.
    I was becoming friends with a nerdy, fangirl.
    God, this place was already better than Beauxbatons.  I had only transferred because I was so sick of all those stuck up, rich, French... um, witches.  I needed a change of scenery, and I knew in my heart of hearts that Hogwarts had always been my home.  I just needed to save up some money to be able to attend, and learn amongst the best faculty and brightest students in the world.
    "Melissa Aldridge," she called, and a short, awkward brunette stumbled onto the stage and onto the stool, pulling up her stockings to cover up the hair she forgot to shave due to her Hogwarts excitement.  She was definitely eleven years old, bearing the face of an innocent child that does not yet know what sort of spells and charms exist.  Magic is such an amazing thing -- every new spell bewilders me.  All of the things that you can do with magic, all of the things you shouldn't, and all of the power that comes along with it.  Magic is, to say the least, awesome.
    Yet, the Sorting Hat spoke softly to Melissa.  "A hard worker, loyal to her friends, and the fairest of hearts.  Your determination will allow you to do such great things, and I know exactly where you belong.  HUFFLEPUFF!"
    I crinkled my nose.  Hufflepuff is the worst house to be in.  That gaudy yellow color will become your blanket representation, and honestly, who associates themselves with Hufflepuffs?  Name one well-known Hufflepuff, besides Helga.  Go on.
    I tapped Hoppy and she turned around mid-clap.  "Anything would be better than Hufflepuff," I spat.  "They're literally the worst."
    "Tell me about.  Slytherin is a tie, too," Hoppy said, shaking her head.
    "I know, right!" I whispered back.  "If worst comes to worst, then, I'll take Ravenclaw because a book nerd like myself probably belongs there."
    "Same!" Hoppy squealed.  "We'll have to compare reading lists later in the Gryffindorms."
    "For sure!" I smiled, feeling at home already.  This was going to be such a step up from the ever classy Beauxbatons.
    Professor McGonagall continued to call up names -- Derik Bones, Peyton Cortes, Sam Culin, and Rosie Dela to be welcomed into Ravenclaw, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Gryffindor, respectively.  It seemed like an eternity later before McGonagall finally called up, "Hope Reid."
    I patted her back enthusiastically, allowing our Gryffindor energy to connect.  "I'll see you on the other side!"
    She nervously smiled back, and ran up onto the stage, sitting in the stool with the brightest smile on her face and rosiest cheeks.  She took a deep breath, "Okay."
    "Ah, an Ilvermony transfer with a courageous mind," the sorting hat said.
    Hell yeah, she's courageous!  I thought.  A true Gryffindor.
    "Completely unafraid of toil, patient, honest, and fair.  A hard worker, and very determined!  You have great qualities, Miss Reid, and I know that you will use them well in... HUFFLEPUFF!" he screamed, as my heart dropped to my stomach.
    Her eyes widened in disappointment, looking up at the Sorting Hat.  "There must be a mistake?"
    "I'm the Sorting Hat, I do not make mistakes," he replied.
    "Go take your seat, Miss Reid," McGonagall said, ushering her to the Hufflepuff House's table.
    We locked eyes, and I knew that this would be the end of our short-lived friendship.  I mean, what kind of a Gryffindor would degrade themselves to that.
    Hoppy slowly made her way to the Hufflepuff table, losing the joy that had bounced her onto the stage.  I casually glanced over at her as the rest of the names were called, but she wasn't paying too much attention.  She just stared awkwardly at the table, wondering where she had gone wrong.
    My thoughts were interrupted as I heard "Alexandria Woodson" announced.  Here was my time to shine and join my family.  I stood up, flattening my skirt with a sweaty palm, and then strutted over to the stage.  I had been top in my class at Beauxbatons, and boy, did I know I was good.  I, like any Gryffindor, am the best of the best, and I knew that I had the power and ambition that would drive me to success.
    I sat down and flipped my pink streak over my shoulder as McGonagall placed the hat on my head.  I gave a tiny smirk to the rest of the school, all watching me, wondering I would be placed.  As if they didn't already know.
    "A brave heart with all the courage and nerve she needs to take on any challenge thrown at her -- both magical and not," the Sorting Hat said.  I merely shrugged my shoulder like it was no big deal, and continued on with my little smirk.  "You also are a very determined and ambitious gal.  You have such cunning and cleverness running through you.  What an interesting combination, interesting, indeed."
    "Oh, just put me in Gryffindor already," I muttered with a tiny giggle following suit.
    "Gryffindor, eh?" the Hat chimed.
    "Well, yeah, my courageous heart would do well amongst my fellow lions," I said matter-of-factly.
    "You spend a lot of time to yourself, don't you, Alexandria?  Studying, working, creating.  You shadow the world out, but also study people vigorously to know how to manipulate them," the Hat continued, suspiciously.
    I nodded.  "Very true.  It gives me all of the tools that I need to step up and take action.  It provides me the fuel for my bravery."
    The Hat merely laughed at me.  "But what you do not realize, Alexandria, is that you are manipulating me right now.  Your cunning ways and such ambition would do well for you in one house, and one house only.  Better be... SLYTHERIN!"
    I stood with horror in my eyes.  "No, you have it all wrong!"
    McGonagall nudged me.  "The Slytherin table is right this way."
    "No, you don't understand," I whispered rushedly.  "I am a Gryffindor!"
    "Miss Woodson, the hat has spoken.  Now, go and join the rest of your house, so that we may close the Sorting Hat ceremony," she said, shaking her head in dismay.
    I bit my bottom lip, drawing just the tiniest bit of blood.  "But if I may - "
    "You may not," McGonagall said, pushing me along.
    My Doc Martens felt heavier than ever as I trudged my way over to the Slytherin table.  They welcomed me with open arms, but it felt more like they were passing off a disease.  My stomach was tossing and turning, and I didn't know what to do.  I looked over at Hoppy and saw her smiling empathetically at me.
    We were both misplaced, and we sure as hell weren't going to accept it.
    I was going to figure out a way to get myself into the Gryffindor House, and Hoppy was coming along with me.