Masters of Mischief

X. Ali and the Looney Pudding Pick Me Up

Having a near death experience makes you realize a lot of things, like how insignificant some problems might seem.  Take Pansy and Co. for example, who were currently staring me down as I engulfed a butter croissant.  They might seem like the worst people on Earth — and they very well maybe — but in the grand scheme of things, they don't mean shit.

I caught Hoppy's eye in the Great Hall, and gave her a tiny smile.  She waved back as enthusiastically as ever.  Apparently almost killing her friend doesn't weigh down on her mood too much.  In any case, I was prepared to prank Snape, as long as it went better than my attempted Draco prank.  I could care less about it taking points away from Slytherin, if that means inadvertently helping my true house.

I did, however, care about running into Draco.  How awkward would that encounter be?  I made some silly attempt at a prank, and honestly, where was I getting at anyways with that?  A wet dream?  I shuddered, knowing that this could be worse, and knew that I only had one place that I could turn.

My sparkly black painted nails reached for a juicy green apple, and my feet took off towards the Hufflepuff table.  I plopped myself down next to my murderer, and let out a drawn out sigh until she was forced to ask me what's wrong. 

"Well," I began, drawing out my sigh a bit longer.  "Things really aren't great in Slytherin."

"Yeah, you mentioned yesterday," Hoppy said sympathetically.  How dare she act so nice after trying to kill me!  "Do you want to talk about it?"

Hmm, consider herself redeemed.  "Yes, actually, if you don't mind, of course.  So, here's the thing, my mum was a Gryffindor when she attended, and so I always thought that I would come study here as a Gryffindor, you know, to honor her memory.  Two nights ago, I got a letter from home, and Arthur and Sam were going off about how proud they were to see me in Gryffindor.  I mean, how can I tell them the truth?" I cried out of frustration.

"The truth is that you're on your way to becoming a Gryffindor — we both are," Hoppy said with a shrug.  Her hand reached for her bun to ensure her wand was still there, and then asked, "Who are Arthur and Sam?"

"My parents.  Arthur is my biological dad, and then after my mum died — I was three — he discovered that he was bisexual, and when I was seven, he married Sam.  It happened a bit fast, but Sam's good for him.  He was actually a Ravenclaw when he went here.  Arthur was a Beauxbatons student," I told her.

"I'm sorry to hear about your mum, but I'm glad Arthur was able to move on."  Hoppy offered a smile and some peanut butter for my apple, which apparently, was some weird American custom.

It was also extremely delicious.

I shrugged my shoulders.  "Usually people freak out when they hear I have two fathers.  It happened at Beauxbatons all the time.  You're cool, Hoppy, never change."

She nodded.  "People can be hella cruel."

"True!  Speaking of which, can I vent about my Slytherin issues?" I asked with guilt seeping out of my eyes.

"Oh, honey, what did you do?" she asked, looking as worried as someone encountering a Dementor.

I giggled nervously.  "Well," I said, detailing her about the drama with Pansy and Co., all the way up until the prank with Draco.

Hoppy blinked as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing.  "You were going to give him a... wet dream?"

I face palmed myself.  "I don't know what I was thinking!  That's the first thing that came to mind!"

Hoppy stole the Slytherin smirk™, and rolled her eyes.  "Ridiculous.  You saw Draco, and your immediate reaction was to make his wand—"

"That's enough, Hoppy!" I interrupted her.  I shook my head, spreading some more peanut butter onto my apple.  "After that, I don't know, it was weird.  He tried to make a move on me, and I was like 'Hell no' and got out of there."