Chapter 5

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A/N
Ok guys I'm about to cry! 60 reads like hold up. I am so thankful that you checked out this piece of shit! So I'm going to update today as well! My schedule is kinda eh but it pretty sure the book will be finished in July!
Lego Bitches

***
I usually hated having dinners with a large group of people. My social anxiety didn't allow that many people to be around me that much. Family gatherings were honestly shit when I was a child. However, sitting here with the whole 'gang' was surprisingly comforting. Wendy insisted to have a dinner together, now that Yeri was better, and I had no choice but to attend.

"So everyone's how's your day," Jimin said breaking the awkward silence. I had to thank him though, any more of this and I swear I would have killed myself. Before the Namjoon guy did of course.

"Jimin what kind of shit topic starter is that," Yoongi causally said. Wendy hit his arm softly and glared at him. Yoongi just chuckled in response. Disgustingly cute.

"At least he's trying to start a conversation Yoongi," Seulgi sassed back. Jimin gave her look that said thanks and they exchanged smiles. Even more disgustingly cute.

Now when I look around, I realize that I was surrounded by couples except for Hoseok and I. Looking at the situation, I felt the desire to be in a relationship. But then the memories of my old relationship resurfaced and the desire went back down. I am an independent Asian women, I do not need a man.

The meal was finished and I found myself back into Hoseoks room. Sleep was not welcomed for a few days for me so lying down for a while sounded delightful. Unfortunately, Hoseok had the same idea.

"Move over," he said harshly. I rolled my eyes and moved myself to the corner of the bed.

"Why now? I wanted some alone time," I whined.

"Do you think I like this too? I absolutely hate your presence in my room so alone time for me was needed as well."

"Just be quiet." I pulled the comforter towards me and snuggled in bed. I heard him doing the same.

Alone time wasn't healthy for me anyway. The more I'm alone, the more I think. Thinking for me only assists in my bad thoughts and problems.  Depressing right? I sighed in my bed and I squeezed my eyes shut. It had no affect because tears spilled out anyway. Everything and everyone hurt. I have no where to turn too. No where and nobody. 'Man up Sooyoung. You can't be hurt right now,' my mind lectured.

"Are you crying?" Hoseok questioned.

"Nope," I said while wiping away my tears.

"Your a shit liar Sooyoung," Hoseok said. Then he did something that shocked me to my core. He wrapped his arms around me. The guy who fucking hates my existence, hugged me. Damn praise Jesus this guy had changed. Lord thank you. "Don't take this as a change of heart. I still fucking despise you." Never mind, the bitch is still the same.

I turned myself over so we were face to face and said, "Wouldn't dream of it." He rolled his eyes and pulled me a little closer. My eyes narrowed, if this boy wants a one night stand, he better step up his game.

"Hoseok," I tapped him on his nose.

"What," he snapped.

"Is this your idea of flirting because boy your going to stay single forever."

"First of all ladies are on me 24/7 so my idea of flirting does work. Second of all, I'm not flirting with you. Your not my type."

"Mmh," I hummed, " So since I'm not your type you don't mind if I do this." Deciding to have a little fun, I pushed my self up and straddled his waist.

He in return gave me a bored look but put his hands on my hips anyway. "Funny game your playing, seducing  somebody who hates you. What do you think you'll get out of this."

"I don't want anything out of this," I whispered, leaning to his ear.

He flipped me over and gave me a cold smile. "Good."

"Good," I repeated.

And so he attached his lips to mine. There were no sparks and it wasn't  sweet and gentle. The kiss was hard and demanding. I expected it though. We weren't in a fairytale, he isn't the prince I would spend a lifetime with. Instead, he was more like the devil, that would drag me under to hell. And the sick, twisted part of me wanted it.

I'm kissing the devil. The feeling of regret couldn't help but sneak up in me. I ignored it, I knew it was going to visit me the next morning but I didn't care.

We were under the sheets in no time. Clothes off in seconds and thrown into the abyss. Was this wrong? Of course it was.

There was barely any exchange of words. There were no 'you sure' or 'is it okay like this.' We weren't in high school, this wasn't making love either. This was just sex. A one-night lay.

Does it hurt? Of course it did. I wanted something more than a one-night stand. I wanted to feel wanted but this is all I can obtain. Hoseok didn't love me, he would never love me. Who would love a girl like me anyway? Broken hearted, sick, and twisted me. That's okay though because in this moment I felt wanted. Even if he didn't want me. Kissing the devil has some perks, didn't it?

***
This chapter was shorter than usual but they did the dirty! I know it sounds too early but then being a couple will be a long journey.

June 13
6:28 Pm

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