Discovering Licapta

7 (pt. iv)

THE DRIVE HOME feels shorter than the ride downtown. After some small talk and banter, Audrick and I sit in comfortable silence, and I nod off a few times, only vaguely aware of the whooshing of traffic and gentle motion of the luxury Mercedes as I float between consciousness and unconsciousness.

When I finally come to, I don't remember where I am until I see the blonde in front of me. In his hands is a copy of The Wizard of Oz, and the day's events come rushing back to me. All I want to do is close my eyes and fall back asleep, a feat I'm sure is possible with such pleasant thoughts in my mind, but Audrick stops me.

"We're almost there, Sleepyhead."

Slow and a little groggy from sleep, it takes me a moment to register that Audrick is teasing me. When I do, I feel my lips twitch upward as I force myself to sit up.

"How did you sleep?"

"Well," I reply, tucking some strands of hair behind my ear that I'm confident are out of place.

Placing his book onto the seat next to him, Audrick chuckles. "Somebody was tired."

"Yeah," I agree. "I have trouble sleeping some nights."

"Is it because of school?"

I shake my head. "No. I've had difficulties falling asleep since losing my memory. The moment my head hits the pillow, all these thoughts about what my life might have been like fill my mind. I'll wonder how my life could have been different if I'd just been more careful crossing the street that day. Even though they say it wasn't my fault...." I let out a sigh. "Anyways, the next thing I know it's morning, and I've spent all night awake."

In the daytime it's relatively easy to keep my thoughts at bay. There's always been enough to do, to keep me busy and preoccupied— first counselling, then at the bookstore, and now school— that I've been able to go about my days with a smile on my face, only dwelling on occasion of the accident that changed my life. But when the lights are off and I'm in the dark in the isolation of my room, it's a whole other story. It's ironic, isn't it? How I've completely forgotten the first twenty years of my life, the memories erased, but I still have a lot on my brain? The organ still cycles through the same anxious thought pattern every night, every other if I'm lucky. The brain may not be perfect, but it's a well-oiled machine when it comes to worry.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," I say. It's so strange how those two words are used so frequently in the vernacular, in so many circumstances in which their meaning is lost.

"I know. If it gets really bad, you can see about getting some medication to help," he suggests.

I nod, considering this. In Seattle drugs were expensive, and I opted to keep my money in the bank over blowing all my earnings as they were deposited. I keep forgetting that here almost everything is covered.

It makes me feel bad for those who can't live this way.

The sound of the car doors unlocking draws me out of my head, and I glance out the tinted windows to find we're stopped in front of my apartment building. I unbuckle my seatbelt and an about to get up when Audrick stops me. "Hold on a second."

Relaxing back into the leather seat, I watch as Audrick digs a hand into his shorts pocket and, a moment later, retrieves a small black box. I'm waiting for him to open it, to show me what's inside, that when he holds it toward me, it takes me a moment to realize he intends for me to take it.

I look up, meeting his gaze instead.

"It's for you," he says, confirming my suspicions. "Go on and open it."

Dropping my gaze back to the box, I thank Audrick and take the box into my hands. Slipping off the lid, I discover what's been hiding beneath it is far prettier than anything I could have imagined. Against a velvet background rests a circular pendent made up of a grey druzy. The texture gives the stone a crystalline appearance, and as I tilt the box in my hands, the jagged edges take turns sparkling as they catch the sunlight.

"This... It's beautiful," I say, noticing that Audrick looks pleased with himself. "But I can't accept this."

I move to put the lid back on the box, but Audrick speaks again, causing me to stop what I'm doing. "Gemma." His voice is soft like a summer breeze, genuine. "You deserve this. After everything you've been through, you should be able to throw on a pretty necklace and have some fun tonight."

Audrick's words cause a tingling sensation in my stomach, but I fight to ignore the strange feeling, focusing instead on the conversation we're having. "Is this what you had to pick up from your sister's store?"

"Yes."

I consider accepting the gift for a moment but am quick to decide it's just too much to accept, even from someone as well off as Audrick, and make to place the lid back on the box, succeeding this time. "Thank you, but I'm sure your sister or someone else can make good use of it."

But Audrick isn't having it. "Do you like it?" he asks.

As much as I want to lie and say no, I nod, unable to bring myself to tell a lie, even this small.

"Then keep it. My sister has more jewellery than she'll ever wear, and this has been lying around her shop for years."

I open my mouth to resist, but Audrick's already sliding open the doors. "I thought you might like some jewels to wear to that party tonight. Most students like to dress up a little."

"Okay," I finally relent, slipping the box into my purse. Even though I feel a little weird accepting jewellery from someone, let alone someone I met less than a week ago, it was a nice gesture on Audrick's part. And he's right; it will look stunning paired with the sleeveless black V-neck blouse I bought earlier. "Thank you."

Audrick helps me unload my shopping bags from the trunk and carry them to the door. When we reach the elevators, I insist that I'm fine going the rest of the way on my own, and reach to snatch my bags from Audrick's grasp. Thankfully, he complies, and we part ways, me going up while he returns to his car.

I'm busy untwisting a pink shoestring handle on one of the multitude of shopping bags in my hands when the elevator doors swing open, granting me access to my floor. Fumbling to secure the bags, I stumble ungraciously out of the elevator and into the hallway.

What I see when I finally look up stops me in my tracks.