My Best Friend

14 - "I don't want to wreck the friendship we already have."

Edited - if you happen to find any more grammar or spelling mistakes, do leave a comment and I will get to editing that mistake as soon as possible. Thank you very much.

With love, Billie.

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March 2011

Zach Quick

It was the March holidays again; the guys and I were just lying around Sebastian's room and chilling. I glanced at my cousin and despite how painful it was to see that smile on his face, I was glad my cousin and the most important person in my life were happily together.

Yes, Blair had rejected me but accepted Jamie. Unfortunately, that wasn't exactly the answer she gave the both of us last month. She just said, "Can I go on respective dates with each of you?" And then Jamie let me went first.

I just did not know the date determined whom she was going to accept... What shocked me was the fact that Blair did not tell me Jamie confessed on the same day as I did too. However thinking back now, maybe it was my entire fault. I never really gave her a chance to talk first; I just barged into her house and confessed. I should have waited, if I had waited and heard that Jamie had given her such a heartwarming confession, I would have seen that she was touched and she was considering to finally accepting my cousin. Then maybe things would not be so complicated between my cousin and I.

Don't get me wrong, Jamie and I, we were still on good terms, he just didn't appreciate it whenever Blair and I got close – forgetting the damn fact that I was her seat partner for the school year...

"So buddy, how does it feel?" Sebastian suddenly asked as he sat up from his bed. I turned his desk chair away from his window and looked at him confusingly. What the hell was he talking about?

"What?"

"Dude, among the four of us, you're the only bachelor now. How does that feel?" Sebastian smirked proudly and I rolled my eyes.

"Well Mister Asher if you must know, it feels lonely at times but there are perks to it. Like say, girls can come flirting with me all the time and I have nobody to assure nothing is wrong." I replied to my buddy like he was interviewing me, and Sebastian just fell back onto his back.

"It just never dawned on me that you're actually capable of doing what your best friend did to you years ago." Sebastian said as a matter-of-factly and I glanced at him while pondering.

Did I fall for my best friend like she did to me? I only confessed to her because of two reasons. One being that I thought she still liked me, and the other being I thought I liked her. Sometimes I got very confused with myself too. For example when I saw Blair cozying up with Jamie, I could not continue looking at them. Yet when I saw them holding hands while walking home, I felt nothing... Was this just an infatuation or was this just my subconscious trying to make use of Blair to completely forget about Ally? I honestly did not know because I was sure I had no more feelings for Ally. Then again, Ally and I were together for such a long time, I could not possibly take merely less than a year to forget about her could I?