The Drugs Won't Help Book. 2

Ch. 3

"I fought with my brother the whole way to Florida. I don't know why he still wanted me around after all the yelling and name calling, I was sure he was going to throw me out. That's what I wanted. I wanted to make him so mad at me that he wouldn't force me to go with him."

"Unfortunately he figured out what I had planned long before I did and promised to himself that more matter how mad he was at me he was going to help me."

"Even though I had him there with me I felt more alone than ever. I remember thinking up all the ways I could kill myself on that plane. All the way to Florida that's all that was on my mind." Sebastian looked at Tyler who seemed to stiffen at the mention of him killing himself.

"When we got to Florida I tried to think positive. It was supposed to be a new start, but I didn't think of it that way."

"Why not?" Tyler questioned next to him.

"Because I didn't want a fresh start. I could only think of the end." Tyler pondered those words and stayed silent waiting for Sebastian to continue. "Anyway, we got to Florida and I was enrolled in a new school. Cody worked so much that I rarely saw him. I don't get why he wanted me to move there if it wasn't any different than here. The people at school weren't any different than anywhere else. Most were scared of me and I liked it that way. It meant they would leave me alone."

"Eventually I found myself with another group of drug ridden kids and I only got worse. After a few months I fell into another hole and instead of trying to climb out I tried to hang myself. It didn't work, someone found me before I could do it." Tears played at his eyes as he remembered the pain that had made him want to step off that chair.

"Um...I continued to go to school after that. Cody found out about the attempt and was furious at me, which made me feel worse. I found a razor blade in the shed that everyone called the 'drug hutch'. I tried to kill myself again like two weeks after finding the blade. Cody found me in the bathtub, again. I really feel bad for dragging him through that twice. I-"

The words caught in Sebastian's throat and a tear ran across his nose since he was laying sideways. Tyler reached over and wiped it way before wiping away his own. "That last attempt left probably the worst scars I have, since I did it over the top of the old ones." Sebastian rolled up one sleeve to reveal a vertical scar that ran from his elbow to his wrist. Tyler gently grabbed the boys arm and ran his fingers across it. Among the biggest scar smaller ones littered the skin. One of them Tyler recognized as a burn mark.

"That's the one Frank gave you the day we met." He hated to remember the two people that had caused a lot of the problems Sebastian had faced.

Sebastian's eyes were filled with sadness. "They're disgusting."

Tyler shook his head. "I don't think so. They show what you've been through and that makes them worth something. Maybe they don't look appealing to most people, but that's okay because their opinions don't matter. I think they show who you are and that's okay. It shows that we all make mistakes and that's okay too."

Sebastian smiled weakly. "Back to the story?" He waited until Tyler nodded before continuing. Tyler continued to feel the scars on Sebastian's wrists as the boy talked.

"After spending nearly a week in urgent care I was transferred to a mental hospital. Things didn't really get any better there, but they didn't seem to get worse. There was people there who were going through the same thing as me and I didn't feel so alone. Maybe it's selfish, but I liked knowing that other people had the same flaws."

"I stayed in the hospital for ten months. I watched others come and go. My school would have my homework sent to me every week and I would do it and it would get sent back."