The Drugs Won't Help Book. 2

Ch. 17

"Don't be unreasonable." Jenny ripped the pile of drawings from Tyler's grasp before he could throw them away. "You worked hard on these." She shook them in his face.

Tyler looked like he hadn't slept in decades, which is also how he felt. This whole thing was taking a toll on him even if he wanted to pretend it wasn't. Sebastian was gone. It was as if he had walked off the face of the Earth. This wasn't what Tyler wanted. He hadn't meant for any of it to happen.

"Jenny I can't..." He rubbed his eyes before tears could build up. He told himself he was done crying. "I can't look at them anymore. Especially ...the ones of... him."

Jenny looked down at the drawings in her hands. They were all so beautiful, she couldn't let them be thrown away. "I'll hold on to them then."

Tyler sighed. "Fine, just... Keep them away from me. Please." He turned to go back to his room, but stopped after a few steps. "Why do you care?"

"We're friends."

"We were more than that. Weren't we?"

"Tyler, I like you, but you have someone else. Something I can't give you. So we are just friends." Jenny looked about ready to cry in anger. "And you fucking threw it away!" She said the last bit out of pure frustration and could see it did the trick to snap Tyler out of his mindset.

"Yeah I did! I fucked up! I wish I could fix it, but it's done! It's permanently broken, okay!" By the end Tyler was crying but he didn't bother to hide it.

Jenny waved the papers in front of him. "You don't get to decide when it's over. You broke it now fix it."

"I don't know how."

"Then figure it out, Tyler. Don't stop because it's hard. Sebastian is most likely still out there waiting for you. He's not gone." Jenny stuffed the drawings into her purse that she had on her shoulder.

Tyler took a deep breath. "How do you know?"

"I have to keep believing that, otherwise I'd have given up like you." She situated her purse strap on her shoulder before grabbing the door handle. "Now get some sleep. Please. I'll call you in the morning. We're going to find him tomorrow."

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"Clean yourself up." Jamie pulled out of Sebastian and stood up from the bed.

It was barely morning and Sebastian already felt the guilt starting to pile up for the day. He shifted on the sheets and could feel Jamie's seed spill out of him, he shivered in disgust. It had felt good when it was happening, but now that they were done he felt violated and dirty.

"Now I have to clean the sheets. Move. Up." Jamie pulled him roughly from the mattress so hard he barely got his feet underneath him. "Go." He shoved him toward the bathroom and Sebastian walked there in his drunken state.

Getting Sebastian drunk had been easy for Jamie. The kid was so out of it because of the lack of drugs he'd been given for the past day. Jamie had started to feel bad when Sebastian started to get shaky from withdrawls so he gave him some liquor and Sebastian had just kept drinking. Plus he wanted him drunk because Sebastian wouldn't let him touch him if he was sober.

If he had to admit it was funner with Sebastian drunk because he would make little noises that he couldn't control and everytime he tried to say anything it was slurred, but today he couldn't concentrate on any of that. He hated himself for it, but he had just used Sebastian as a quick fuck. A way to get rid of stress. It had worked for awhile, but he was irritated again not soon after.

Once again Sebastian ran the water in the shower as hot as it would go hoping it would burn off his skin and kill him. Of course it didn't, but he wanted it to.

Jamie was gone and the bed was clean when Sebastian stumbled out of the bathroom naked. He sat on the floor against the wall anyway. His stomach churned, the only thing it contained was cheap vodka. Running his fingers through his hair he moaned when his fingers came away with loose hair. It had started to come out faster the past couple days. After he had started ingesting nothing more than alcohol and cocaine. The stress wasn't helping. His body was in constant pain between Jamie's roughness and his own abuse. The past couple days his mind had proven to be against him.

"You shouldn't have trusted me." A voice echoed in his head.

Jerking his head up he looked around as the room spun. No one was there. "Who's there?" He kept his voice low.

"I lied." The voice sounded again.

Sebastian brought his knees up to his face, hugged his arms close and squeezed his eyes shut. It was happening again. Anything but this, please.

"I never loved you." It was definitely Tyler's voice, maybe a little deeper, but still his.

"Leave me alone." The tears fell without him wanting them and he shook his head.

"You are alone." The voice chuckled mockingly.

Sebastian dug his nails into his scalp. He wasn't alone, Jamie was in the house still. Someone was still there.

"Bash." The softer voice sounded like it was right next to him so he looked up with red eyes. Still no one was there. "I'm sorry." This voice was also Tyler's, but it was the one that he had grown to love. The one that promised to be there forever. The one that made him feel like everything was okay.

"Ty." He choked out quietly before covering his own mouth with his hands. He felt sick.

"I love you." The voice echoed one last time.

Sebastian curled up on the carpeted floor. The room was still spinning and his head was pounding. After a few minutes of silence he took a shaky deep breath, "I love you, too!" There was no one to hear it, but he said it anyway.