Btw my friend whois also addicted tot bowie wrote this i only write the stuff that isn't gross so I do most of it
I love {Y/N}... but she hasn't found out about my cocaine addiction.
Late last night I was watching some of my recent interviews. Dick C show was the worst out of most he threatened me back stage after the show. He said you better do this cocaine somewhere not around me he holds his hand out for money and when I start to walk away he throws a punch at me. He told me to get back up, I did. But I wasn't about to throw a punch back at him. I let him punch me a few more times. And after he was done punching me to death he fell over. I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror I had a black eye, and blood dripping down from my nose. "Fuck" I mumbled, {Y/N} would notice. I remember panicking but luckily she didn't notice because every where I went I was wearing sunglasses even when {Y/N} and I where kissing. I told her it was the new cool, so she went along with it.
Back to the present: I was thinking about it non stop what if {Y/N} found out about my addiction. I couldn't sleep, I grabbed bunch of alcohol and a pack of cigarette; and headed for the master bathroom. Was I really about to get high and drunk in the bathroom. I was, and I did.
Halfway through drinking more and more and throwing up. I had a breakdown,and at the same time all the worst parts of my life rushed to my mind. This wasn't me, I am a positive man . But the part of me that was taking over was the depressed side.
I cried and cried until I heard a knock on the door. I already knew I was gonna get into trouble with {Y/N}. The next thing I hear is "David are you alright" and then "David fuck are you ok!!". Then I hear her banging on the door loudly and she yells "David answer me!!!" I could tell she was about to unleash hulk on me. I hear her turn the door knob a few more times. "What the fuck David open the door, David are you okay". She starts to charge at the door like a bull and breaks it down immediately. "OH MY GOD!!!" I stared at the ceiling and sat up to throw up on the floor. I try to speak normally to her but something different comes out." oh hi.. hi.. hi..{Y/N}" I say."what the fuck David"she says to me. "you want... you want.. some..some.. tequila" i say offering the bottle to her. I gag. And throw up more.
She comer over to me and lightly drags me to the bed. "hey..hey {Y/N} hey {Y/N} wanna fuck?" I say with a grin "Not right now, No"she says in an angry voice. I start to have another breakdown. She looks at me in disbelief. And does something she would never do in this situation she pity fucks me.
In the morning I wake up bare. I try to pretend that none of that had happened. I go over to her kiss her on the forehead and say "good morning sexy" She wakes up grumpy. I say "whats wrong baby?" She looks down at my area and back up to my face. I pretend to not notice that I was naked. And Said "Why the fuck am I naked". She tell me to walk into the bathroom. I do what every other human being would do. " do you need help or something whats wrong with you" She explains to me what happened which I already knew. I already knew she would be mad at me I was disappointed in my self. I went over to my underwear drawer and grabbed a pair of boxers slipped them on, and went to sit on my side of the bed. She slipped on some clothes as well and came and sat next to me. She put her arm around me and laid her head on my shoulder. She started to explain to me why I shouldn't drink. She told me that I was not aloud to drink anymore. I sighed and said fine.
The next morning she brought me two tickets in a basket full of fruit. I looked t the tickets. It read out delta airlines. "you know I am afraid of flying" "I know she said. " this is a punishment" she held up a bottle of beer she found behind the couch. "listen {Y/N}, there is no way in hell I am going on an airplane"."Fine I guess you will be stressed out a lot because I will refuse to touch you" she said . I was scared out of my mind. When we were on the airplane for a while i fainted. I woke up the next day in a hospital in new jersey. The plane had to stop at the nearest airport and rushed me in an ambulance to the hospital.
{Y/N} had to rent a car and drove us back to the house. "so much for our trip to disney".
A week later she caught me sniffing cocaine. She go pretty angry.
A while later I took her to a CVS I stopped in front of the condom aisle and moved my eyebrows up in down. I knew she liked when i did something like that. She wouldn't admit it but she knew she likes when i do that. I grinned and toppled over at least 40 boxes into the cart and winked at her. We got to the cashier and she moved her eye brows up and down at her. She couldn't take the embarrassment of standing there. She went and sat in the car.
We got home and I sang this to her...
She enjoyed when I sang that while making love to her.
A few weeks later she acted weird. I asked her what was wrong."{Y/N} Are you on your thing, you need space just tell me" "no I'm not I don't know whats wrong with me" I decided to take her to the doctor. The doctor came in with a great big smile on her face. I already knew what was coming a mile away. I mouthed the words that the doctor said. "congratulations {Y/N} your pregnant and your the father Mr.Jones ". I looked over at {Y/N}. I hadn't seen so many emotions on her face before. I couldn't tell if she was happy sad or angry. The doctor said "have fun you two" I drove her home and went out to drink . I came back and saw her on her knees on the floor crying. "Oh my gosh are you ok" I said. "Does it look like I am ok" "I don't know thats why I am asking." She slapped me. "ow" "oh my gosh are you okay" she slapped me again. Clever I thought to myself.This is why I lover her. Then I started to sing 'Don't cry my sweet don't break my heart Doing all right, but you gotta get smart Wish upon, wish upon, day upon day, I believe oh Lord I believe all the way Come get up my baby' She stopped crying and smiled her beautiful smile. Then I showed her the bag that contained her favorite meal, shepherds pie mine as well. "I brought home your favorite shepherds pie." "YUCK!!" She snatched the to go box out of my hand and slammed the shepherds pie into my face. I used my fingers to get the potatoes and meat dish out of my eyes. And licked my fingers clean. It costed $35, so scrapped it off of my face and put it into the fridge.
One day went by, I had to go to the grocery store. When I returned home she was asleep on the couch listening to some music from the radio. I heard the tune and was singing along with it. Because it happened to be one of my songs. She was smiling which made me happy. But when an ad came up for strawberries she frowned. Which I thought was pretty funny.
I experimented the next day. She was napping. I know that she hates anchovies. I told her to open her mouth and she ate it and said yum I want more. And then I got a spoonful of peanut butter and put in her mouth she spit it all over my face. She likes what she hates and hates what she likes. So i bought a bunch of foods I hated and I knew she hated as well.
I knew I had to talk to her about the babe growing inside her.
Later that day I sat her down on the couch it had been 4 weeks since we found out she was pregnant. "Listen {Y/N}, I know this might be hard on you right now... but I think you should get an abortion" "absolutely not!" she yells. "or...or...maybe well this might sound terrible but...urghhh...I hate to say this....once the baby is born get into a foster home" she starts to cry "you are an evil man i think we should break up, and i thought you were an honest man ugh" "What...What do you mean we have been together for a year" "okay okay I am sorry David i am being overly dramatic" "We can still visit them and we will bring them gifts every year on there birthday". "that sounds okay i guess ,goodnight Davey" "did you jut call me davey" "yes why" "no one calls me that" "love you anyway goodnight snuggle bug". Then i did what every guy secretly does with his girlfriend. Nosey nosey.
The next morning: {Y/N} comes over to my side of the bed and then gets on top of me, she starts to make out with me while i am half asleep. "{Y/N} Im trying to sleep" i kind of mumble
A few minutes later I feel wet on my chest "the hell are you doing" I say. I sit up and I see she is licking my chest. "I want you to do me David" she says. I start to take off my boxers, but then i realize she's pregnant. " I can't you have a baby growing in you." "not anymore" "What the fuck you killed the - baby" "mh hm"
I sit up and then slide my hand through my hair
