Flat Tire

xi; jamie

"So long, my luckless romance / My back is turned on you / Should've known you'd bring me heartache / Almost lovers always do." - Jasmine Thompson, 'Almost Lover'

For the first time ever, I consider it a blessing that I don't see Will all day. The shop is busy and the café section even busier, making me almost too rushed off my feet to think about him. Almost.

Of course, when I see a couple of teenagers giggling and kissing in the Young Adult Literature section, I think of him. And whenever people pass me with Flint's Coffee to-go cups. And when a woman scolds her grandchild - William, stop messing with those displays! And even when there's nothing at all to remind me of him.

Okay, so maybe I'm not too busy to think about Will, but at least I don't have to actually talk to him. That would be too difficult to bear, when I spent all night thinking about how his lips felt on mine and the sound of his voice as he said we couldn't be together.

It's just gone eight and I'm going through the shelves, moving any books that have been misplaced. I've got a copy of Two Boys Kissing in my hand when I hear his voice say my name. How cruelly ironic.

"Jamie, what the hell were you thinking?"

I spin around, confused. "Huh?"

"Why did you tell my parents that you're quitting? And why didn't you tell me?!"

He's angry with me, that's clear, but there's something else, too. He's upset. He doesn't want me to go.

"I thought it would be best," I reply, looking at my feet.

There's a pause for a minute and I put all of my focus into not shifting my gaze. I grip the paperback I'm holding tighter to stop my hands from shaking. My shoes scuff against the carpet, for what feels like an age it's the only sound.

"You're avoiding me," Will says at last. He sounds hurt.

Eventually, I look up and when my eyes meet his, I swear I feel my heart shatter.

"I've loved being your friend, Will, honestly," I explain shakily. "But things have changed between us and I just don't think I could deal with being just friends anymore. I'm sorry."

He says nothing, just stands there silently, so I move past him towards the Young Adult shelf. I replace the book in its correct place, then turn to face him.

"Do you need any help clearing up?" I ask, trying desperately to keep my voice light.

Will clears his throat. "I... uh... no, thanks."

This is the last time I'll be seeing him and we deserve a better ending, but what else is there to say? Silently, I trudge towards the door. Once again, I am walking away from the boy I love. Perhaps the saddest part is that, once again, he is letting me go.