Flat Tire

xii; will

"Before you let me throw this all away / Before you let me say all the stupid things I'll say / Take these arms and let them hold you tight / Love you more than love could ever know / I may fuck things up from time to time, but / Don't let me let you go." - Jamie Lawson, 'Don't Let Me Let You Go'

For a minute I stand desolately in the middle of the shop, staring silently at the doors. Finally, I start to go back to grab my jacket from behind the counter, but something stops me.

"Will, you fucking idiot," I say to myself under my breath.

Before I can second guess myself, I turn around and go expeditiously to the door, pushing it open with far more force than is necessary. I know that my parents would kill me if they knew I was leaving the shop unattended and unlocked, but right now I dont care.

The rain has somehow managed to get even heavier, pouring down in sheets that make it difficult to see properly. My eyes dart around the vicinity. Has Jamie headed round the back towards the carpark? I wouldn't know; I didn't ask how he's getting home. Again, I call myself an idiot.

Then, thankfully, I spot him a fair distance down the little high street. His figure is hunched against the rain but even from here I can tell his pace is slow, miserable.

I walk fast, then, unsatisfied, break into a run. I shout his name but he either doesn't hear me or chooses to ignore me. Once I get a bit closer, I shout again and this time I know he hears me as he flinches, but doesn't stop walking. Heart pounding, I sprint to him.

He's slowed down and I grab his arm, rougher than I meant to. Again, he flinches, but he has no choice but to stop.

Jamie spins round to look me in the eye and despite the rain I can tell that he's crying. God, I feel terrible.

"Jamie," I say wretchedly. I haven't planned this far ahead. "Jamie, please don't go."

He smiles a small, sad smile and shakes his head. "You'll find other employees just as good as me."

"You know you're more than just someone I work with."

"True, but you have plenty of other friends," he says. He starts to turn to leave but I tighten my grip on his arm. I can't let him go, not yet.

"You're different to any of my other friends," I tell him. "Better."

This time, when he tries to pull away, I loosen my grip and let him.

"Maybe one day we can be friends like that again," he says, dejected.

He turns his back to me. The rain has long since soaked both of us, it runs in rivulets from his raven hair and down his back. My hands are shaking and my mouth is dry but I know that is my last chance, it's now or never. So, I reach across and grab him again, this time tugging at the side of his jacket to pull him towards me. He doesn't resist.

"Jamie," I murmur.

"Yes, Will?" he replies. I can't tell if he's frustrated or just upset, but his voice is hushed like mine now.

"Please don't leave the shop... I mean - don't leave me," I implore, willing him to look me in the eye and see how desperate I am.

He sighs, long and anguished, then his dark eyes flutter upwards to meet mine dead on. His voice is surprisingly steady as he replies, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't."

So I do the only thing I can think of, the only thing I want to do when I look at him, the only thing I've thought of doing since he walked away last night. I move my hand from his jacket to his waist, pull him even closer to me and kiss him. I don't care that we're in public and I don't care that it's raining and I don't care how complicated this will make things. All I care about is his lips on mine, my thumb brushing his cheekbone. He tastes like coffee and salty tears.

As I kiss him, I think to myself, this is it. This is the feeling that they write poems and songs and films about. I think I could probably write an entire novel on how unequivocally perfect it feels to kiss Jamie Harlow.

He finally separates our lips and rests his forehead against mine. He's crying and I realise I'm crying too but then we're both smiling, then laughing. As his hand finds mine at our side and he interweaves our fingers, squeezing tight, I think that this is the feeling that people spend their entire lives in search of. And I know that what follows will sometimes be confusing and difficult, but I also know that there is no way I'm letting go of this feeling, no matter what.

T H E    E N D

note: Ahh so that's it for Jamie and Will's little story! I hope you enjoyed it; I've really liked writing it. Thank you for all the votes and comments, I love seeing your support (or distaste as the characters make more questionable choices!) Thank you for reading.