Lobster
I don't understand why nobody gives me enough credit.
It's always either SpongeBob, Patrick, or even Squidward.
And that had to change.
I ignore the stares that were given to me by the other fish. Mind your own fucking business.
"Hey Larry! How was your day?"
There was only one dumbass with that voice. The voice that haunted me in my nightmares. The voice that belonged to a little yellow sponge that I would love to pick up and throw to the surface.
"Uh... hey SpongeBob." I said awkwardly while rubbing the back of my neck with my claw.
"You know, you and I could hang out before my shift at the Krusty Krab! Because Squidward canceled." SpongeBob said in an eager tone.
Let me guess, he was 'busy'.
"Actually, I'm kind of busy right now. Uh, sorry man." I said uncomfortably.
"Why are you in such a rush?" SpongeBob asked while tilting his body.
"Why do you ask so many fucking questions?" I mumbled.
"Sorry, what was that?" SpongeBob asked in a confused tone.
"Nothing, I just need to go." I said while pushing him out of my way.
"Oh okay, have a great day!" His scream faded away as I kept walking.
There was only one way to get to the surface.
...
The first thing I noticed was the horrible stench that burned my nostrils. No wonder nobody ever comes to to this shithole.
"Finally! A fucking customer!" A small voice said from across the dark room.
Who said that?
"Hello?" I questioned as my voice echoed across the bucket.
"It was me!" The small voice pleaded.
Again I looked around. I ain't messing with that paranormal shit.
"Me! Down here you fucking fool!" The voice said in a much more violent tone.
I looked down.
Well shit.
"Oh. Sorry man, I uh... didn't see ya there." I said awkwardly.
"No shit." Plankton answered as he let out a scoff.
"You're just so fucking small. Like holy shi-"
"Okay! Okay! I get it, I'm fucking small!" Plankton yelled as his eye twitched.
"Woah woah, chill lil guy." I said as I tried to calm the parasite down.
"Woah woah, chill lil guy." Plankton mocked me in a childish voice while rolling his eye.
"Enough! That's just it! Why comment on my size? I already have a crab across the street telling me that everyday!"
What do you expect? You go to someone else's restaurant and try to steal their recipe. Wow, he a stupid hoe.
"Listen Plankton, I need your help to build some shit to get me to the surface." I said while getting straight to the point.
"Ha! You're so stupid!" Plankton said while heading to a table in the corner of the room.
"Plankton, what are you saying? That there's no way of me getting to the surface?" I questioned.
"Listen buddy. The only way I ever got to the surface, was when crabs slingshoted me there. Now either take some delicious chum or get the fuck out of my restaurant." He said as he reached in a bucket of what looked like organs.
"Okay I'll leave. But it's not like anyone will ever come to this shithole again." I said while turning around to see a shocked expression on Plankton's stupid little face.
Damn that felt satisfying.
Now I just need to find a way to get to the fucking surface before I loose my shit.
I honestly considered Plankton's way of getting to the surface. But then I remembered that crabs couldn't slingshot me, however, I could slingshot him.
My stomach grumbled. Well, time to make another protein shake.
Yay.
"La la la la la la la la!"
There is was. That obnoxious voice once again. See, you could only hang out with SpongeBob for a certain amount of time before wanting to shoot both your ears.
Please don't notice me. Please don't fucking notice me. I held my claw up to my face to shield myself.
"Oh hey! Is that really you? Larry! Nice to see you again! Hey Larry!" SpongeBob shouted while running up to me.
Neptune please save me from this hell.
"Oh hey Larry! I would love to stay and chat but I have to go work my shift in the Krusty Krab!" SpongeBob said while jumping up down with his squeaky fucking shoes.
"You know what, I need a damn break." I said while learning out a sigh.
"Oh goddie!" SpongeBob said while shaking his square ass.
I caught a glimpse of Squidward walking over to the Krusty Krab. He looked happy for once. Huh. Probably because SpongeBob is bothering someone other than him.
"You know I love mustard a little more than ketchup. Don't tell ketchup! It's a secret!" He said as he ran into the restaurant while giggling.
What the fuck.
imagine if birds could shit lava.
-tomahoe
