Lobster
As I walked into the Krusty Krab, the familiar sent of diabetes and teenage pregnancy filled my nose.
My stomach growled once again. I looked down to glance at my abs. I need to spend the night at the gym.
"The only thing you need is a shower."
What the hell.
I looked up to find no one there. "Huh. I thought I heard someone." I said as I scratched my back with my claw.
Shit I can feel the barnacles.
I need me some probacktive.
As I made my way to the suicidal cashier, I stepped in something sticky. Probably some gum. Fuck I need shoes.
When I finally managed to get my fucking leg off the cheap wood planks, I heard a familiar faint scream.
Fuck I'm starting to hear the voices again.
Note to self, call Dr. Darren tonight.
Once again I heard the scream. And it wasn't coming from the demons in my head.
Thank Neptune.
"Stop scraping your scaly foot against me! Shit stop!"
I looked down and there he was. A little bitchass green speck with legs.
"What the fuck are you doing here? Are you stalking me?" I questioned while smirking, already knowing the answer.
"Don't flatter yourself you look like a genital wart." Plankton replied while rolling his eye.
"Also I have a beautiful wife." He added with a straight face.
"Your wife is a fucking computer that you programmed yourself because no one would fuck you and we both know it." I spat.
"I'll have you know every time I fuck my wife she has several progasms!" Plankton protested as his eye twitched.
"Okay, then why the fuck are you here? You can't digest a krabby patty with that small body of yours." I said while laughing.
Instead of replying, Plankton put his hand in front of his face.
I just realized this fucker doesn't even have a neck the fuck.
"The hell are you doing." I questioned him in a confused tone.
"Flipping you off dipshit." Plankton replied casually while still "flipping" me off.
"But you don't have fing-" I started.
"Shut the fuck up your opinion is irrelevant according to Scientology." Plankton said while still holding up his hand.
"Bitch that's not scientology it's fact. You literally have no fingers." I said while trying to educate him.
"Anyways!" Plankton yelled, trying to change the subject. "I'm here because I'm trying to steal the secret krabby patty formula bitch." He said.
"Of fucking course." I said while rolling my eyes.
Once again, Planton raised his small hand in front of his face.
"I may not have fingers, but at least I don't have fucking claws instead." Plankton scoffed while observing his non existent fingers.
"How the hell do you even jerk off bro?" Plankton asked in a concerned tone while looking down.
"Why would you ask that question, you don't even have genitals the fuck." I questioned while eyeing his body.
"I have a wenis. You know... unlike you." Plankton said while pulling down rough extra skin on his wrist. He then took out a ruler and started measuring its length. "Huh. 6 centimeters, getting longer everyday." He with a satisfied tone as he stuck his ruler up his ass, which made a loud snap that made even Squidward give a fuck.
