save me {myg/jhs}

one

Yoongi opened his eyes as slowly as he could to avoid being completely blinded by the sunlight creeping through his bedroom window curtains. He craned his stiff neck to face the clock on his bedside table. 5:39pm.

Fuck, Yoongi cursed under his breath. He'd been under for at least 3 hours.

These ridiculously long naps in the middle of the day were not uncommon for Min Yoongi. He played the character of the sleepy, grumpy friend to his housemates to avoid causing them to become suspicious. But there was much more to it than that. Yoongi started feeling extremely depressed back when he was around 16 years old. However, little depressed teenage Yoongi avoided therapy, hoping that, in a couple of years, this empty feeling would have subsided, allowing him to enjoy adult life. But, here he was, aged 24, lying in bed at nearly 6pm, physically unable to get up because of how heavy his brain felt because of all his thoughts of nothing and everything all at once.

Today had been one of what Yoongi liked to call his "death days", meaning his depression was so present on this particular day that he had no other option but to rule the whole day off and sleep through it, mostly to prevent himself from actually trying to end his life. He had planned to sleep for longer than 3 hours, but the sound of his friends talking in the living room had ripped him from his somewhat peaceful slumber. He groaned and rubbed his temples before using all his strength to swing himself off the bed and trudge to the bathroom to shower.

He moved as quickly as his weak body would allow him to, desperate not to be forced to interact with his friends while he was in such a depressive state.

"He awakens!" Yoongi can't help but physically cringe at the sound of Namjoon's voice bellowing through his head, still fragile and half-asleep. He waved in the general direction of the living room couch where he assumed his friends were gathered. He hoped that that would be enough to satisfy them so he could go and shower without any further pestering. Of course, it was just Yoongi's luck that this was not the case.

"Yoongi-hyung! We missed you!" Taehyung whines as he leaps towards Yoongi and throws his arms around him. Fuck, this kid is loud, Yoongi thought to himself.

"Aish, let go, I need to shower."

"No! Come sit with us for a while, please hyung?"

Yoongi went to protest but Taehyung was pouting and trying so hard to look cute that it was embarrassing. Yoongi simply sighed in response, letting Taehyung know that he had won, earning a way-too-loud cheer from the younger boy as he leaps back over to the couch.

Yoongi drags his feet across the floor, already regretting his decision to get out of bed at all. He let himself fall onto the two-seater couch in between Hoseok and Jungkook who was perched on the arm of the couch. His head was pounding and his bones were aching and begging him to drag himself back to bed to sleep off this awful feeling. He was distracted from his thoughts by the sound of Jimin's loud voice as he called Yoongi's name.

"So, we were talking and we realised its been, like, weeks since we went to the diner! So we're going tonight, and you're coming, whether you like it or not." He spoke with a proud grin.

"Aish, I think I'll pass Jimin. My head's hurting like a bitch-"

"Yoongi, no" Taehyung whined, dragging out his words dramatically. "You never come out with us! Please hyung, it won't be the same without you."

"Sure it will, I've been in bed all day and you guys have managed without me." He countered matter-of-factly.

"Yoongi, just come with us, dude. You know these kids will be whining the whole time if you don't." Seokjin joined in the conversation with a slightly more serious tone than the others.

"Not my problem, man. I'm staying home." Yoongi began to lose his patience, as did the rest of the boys, Namjoon in particular.

"Y'know, I don't even know why you bother living here if you're just gonna hide out in your fucking bedroom like a god damn recluse. Don't fucking come then, asshole." Namjoon spat, unable to keep his composure by this point.

"Fuck you." Yoongi got up and stormed back to his bedroom, angry tears pricking at his eyes. He threw himself back into bed, letting frustrated weeps escape him as he clenched his fists around his pillow. Frustrated not only at his friends for not being more understanding, but frustrated that Namjoon was completely right. There was no point in him living here. There was no point in him living at all.

He heard the boys begin to move around.

They must be leaving soon, he thought.

It was perfect. The house would be empty for at least a couple of hours. No one to stop him, or to try to convince him to stay alive, or to guilt trip him into postponing it any longer. Tonight was the night he would finally be free. He smiled at the thought.

A knock at the door caused his smile to immediately return to a scowl.

"Fuck off," he shouted weakly, groaning when he heard the door creak open despite his response.

"Hey, you okay?" Yoongi's scowl became less harsh when he heard Hoseok's voice. He whispered in a soft tone, as if he was afraid that if he spoke to loudly, he would hurt Yoongi.

"Never better," Yoongi replied sarcastically, remaining face down on his pillow.

"Listen," Hoseok spoke after a long pause. "Are you sure you don't wanna tag along? I'm not gonna try and force you, but, Tae is right, it's not the same without you." Although Yoongi wasn't looking at Hoseok, he could tell he had a sweet, sympathetic smile on his face.

"I'm good Hobi. Thanks for not trying to force me though, unlike those assholes." Yoongi forced himself to sit up to face Hoseok, who still stood at the door.

"Okay, Yoongi. I think we're leaving now, so...just call me if you need anything, or...yeah. I hope your head feels better, make sure to drink water and stuff. Bye hyung." Hoseok smiled again before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

A few minutes later, Yoongi heard the front door shut and the house fell silent. He held his breath, wanting to be completely sure that they were gone before beginning. Once he was certain, he got up once again and made his way to the living space. He wanted to, sort of, say goodbye. Besides, this had been his home for the last 2 years. And it would be his last.

He opened the fridge and grabbed a beer. He thought he should loosen up a bit. He'd been wanting to do this for so long, but now that it was really about to happen, he felt nervous. Not necessarily because he was unsure, no, he was sure. But just because he didn't know what was next.

Yoongi was never sure if he believed in a God, or an afterlife, so naturally he was somewhat anxious to find out. Besides, he wasn't exactly a saint, so he had no idea what would be in store for him if there was such a thing as heaven or hell.

In a matter of minutes, Yoongi was already on his third bottle of beer, and his vision was starting to become hazy. He'd always been a bit of a lightweight, which he'd always seen as a disadvantage until now, as he was grateful that he could speed up the process.

Once 3 bottles had become 6, Yoongi stumbled to the bathroom and yanked open the cabinet, ignoring the various bottles that fell out onto the floor and into the sink in front of him. Despite his incredibly blurred vision, he managed to locate a bottle of sleeping pills and grab it with a tight and determined grasp. He stumbled back to the kitchen, where multiple beer bottles lay on the floor. After grabbing the last beer in the fridge, Yoongi slid down onto the floor and took a deep breath.