The Sound of Ice

28

I toss my baseball in the air, blinking up at the Maple Leafs poster on my ceiling. The wind rattles my windowpane, and thick, wet snowflakes stick against the glass. I slept horribly last night. Or really, I didn't sleep at all. 

"Hi, Cameron."

I catch my baseball and glance towards the door. Hailey is standing in the hallway, her hair in a tangled ponytail, wearing a red sweatshirt of Veronica's that's huge on her. 

"Hi, Hailey."

"Is Mum home? I need help with long division."

I sit up and rub my face. "No, she's out with Veronica. On Saturdays they always go grocery shopping, remember? Do you want me to help you?"

She runs up and jumps on my bed beside me, the springs squeaking. "You're horrible at math," she says. 

I smile. "Maybe Sam would be better."

"Yeah." She thinks for a minute, her brown eyes swimming in thought. "Cameron?"

"Yeah?"

"Why would somebody hurt Sam?"

My breath hitches a little. "I don't know," I say softly.

"Hurting people is not nice. That's what Mrs. Webster tells us. Use your words."

"Yeah, that would be better."

"Did they try to use their words?" Hailey looks up at me, her eyes wide with innocence. "When they hurt Sam?"

"Probably not."

"Why would they do that?" Her face scrunches up with confusion. "Mum said I wasn't allowed to ask Sam. Can I ask you?"

"Okay." 

"Did Sam say something mean? Did he take something from them?"

"No." I glance over my sister's head out the window. "Sam likes other boys. Did you know that?"

"No."

"He does. And some people don't like that."

"Why don't they like that?"

I shrug. "I don't know, Hailey."

She sits on my lap and presses her head against my chest. "I like other boys. Do people not like that?"

"What? Who do you like?"

She giggles. "There's a boy in my class named Walter. He has the coolest sneakers."

I smile. Oh, Jesus. "Okay," I say. "Um, no, people don't mind that. But Sam is a boy who likes boys."

"Well, I don't mind that."

"That's good."

"I like Sam."

"Me too."

She takes her head off my chest and studies me. "Don't be sad, Cameron."

"I'm not."

"Do you want to watch a movie? Mary Poppins?"

"Okay." 

"Carry me to the couch!"

I stand up, swinging her around, and she laughs. 

In the living room, I start the movie and curl up on the sofa. I think I doze off pretty early. I don't dream anything at all.

~

There's a knocking at the door that jolts me awake, my heart beating. Hailey frowns at me. 

"Shh," she whispers loudly. Mom is sitting beside her, and they're sharing a bowl of popcorn. "The movie is almost over. Someone's knocking."