Smoke

2

I close the door behind me and let out a long exhausting sigh while leaning my forehead against the wall.

"Kenna is that you?" I hear my aunt call out from the living room. I shrug forgetting she can't see me and make my way into the kitchen. "Makenna?" she calls out louder.

"Yes it's me, sorry" I speak up as my eyes scan the fridge. "How was work?" I ask taking out an orange juice flavoured juice box.

"Oh it was busy as always" she sighs. she gets up and walks towards me, her heels echoing throughout the hall. She stops at the door way and looks at me, I turn my head and look back at her. "Was school any better?" She asks hoping I'll say yes, hoping I'll tell her that I made friends, hoping I'll say anything but no. But I know she doesn't wanna hear that so I just look away. "Ken I'm sorry, I promise that it'll get better" she says walking towards me, the amount of sympathy she's giving me is crazy.

"That's what you said on the first day, and the second, and the third, and everyday after" I huff getting frustrated. "It's not gonna get better, I can't make any friends" I shake my head putting my straw in my mouth.

"Why not? There's nothing wrong with you. You're smart, beautiful, funny, and you're such good company" she smiles trying to make me feel better, she rubs my back but I shake my head again. "Do you want me to talk to the school? maybe they'll give you a buddy" she says with excitement.

"No, No please don't" I beg. "Everyone there already has friends. They have their own groups and lunch tables and.. and I just can't squeeze my way into a group. I don't fit in I'm not from around here, I'm shy and weird. Pretty sure I'm better off on my own anyway" I say quietly and continue drinking my juice.

"I guess I can't force you to do anything" she sighs. "I'm guessing nothing crazy happened today then?" she goes into the fridge taking out a bottle of wine.

I lick my lips about to tell her about the boy I ran into today, but I shake my head and grab my bag then make my way upstairs but my aunt stops me.

"I'm gonna start some homework, I'll be down for dinner I promise" I assure her.

"You're parents would be so proud of you Kenna" she whispers and gives me a small smile. I nod then move past her and continue to go upstairs.

I plop myself on to my bed and look around. My walls are boring beige with a blue undertone. white trim, white ceiling, some brown unpacked boxes in the far corner. I get up and breath out. This is my life now, I need to get use to it. I stand in front of a full length mirror and stare at myself. Boring brown eyes, Boring straight long brown hair, boring tan, 5'3 boringly short, boring average figure. I shake my head and change into my sweat pants and a tank top. My mind wonders to that boy I ran into in the hall today, he probably thinks I'm such a fool for being clumsy like that.

——

I slowly close my locker and turn around seeing a few kids walking up and down the hallway. I walk down to the cafeteria and suddenly feel so overwhelmed from how crowded it is. I manage to make my way over  to a vending machine to purchase some orange juice then I quickly make my way out. I put my extra change back into my purse and I see the same crowd of boys from yesterday walking out the doors. For a reason I'm not sure of I smile small and walk out after them. I walk down the steps and sit on the same bench as I did yesterday during English. I open my orange juice and take a small sip watching them light up their cigarettes. I turn away not wanting to be caught starring but as soon as I look back their all walking towards me. Oh god, what did I do? Did they catch me starring? I tap the sides of my thighs lightly trying to look unbothered but I'm sure I look like a panicking mess.

"Hey uh.." The one with black hair said as he approached me.

"Makenna.." I spoke quietly when I realized he didn't know my name.

"Makenna" he smiled and nodded "I'm Jakob" he introduced himself. I'm so confused, why is he here talking to me? Why are his friends with him? Oh no, they're probably just trying to make fun of me. Pick on the quiet new girl, classic.

"It's nice to meet you" I smile small wanting him and his gang to leave me alone. I look away from him and look around seeing that people are starring at me.

"We have english together, right?" he asks. I look back at him and just nod feeling the palms of my hands get sweaty. "yeah I thought so, do you remember how long the report had to be for the movie we watched?" He smiles inhaling from his cigarette.

"I, uh yeah" I talk quietly. "3-4 pages at least is what he said" I say a little more clear after I clear my throat. Hopefully now maybe he'll leave me alone. He nods but stands in the same place. I can now smell their smoke filling my lungs as I breathe. My eyes move off of Jakob and go to the guy next to him, he's looking up at the sky but he's wearing a worn out leather jacket with many rips, tears, and scratches on it. How can he be wearing that? It's so hot out, all the other guys are in t-shirts. He's also wearing worn out blue jeans with dirt all over knees and shins. His face comes down and he stares at the people across the road. My breathing becomes hitched as I realize it's the boy from yesterday, his jawline was perfect, his hair is dark brown almost black, and his lips looked so soft they were the perfect shade of a peachy nude. I looked away and cleared my throat a little, that must've caught his attention.

"aren't you the girl who ran into me yesterday?" he asked, his voice was so gentle. My face went red as soon as I heard a few snickers from a couple of the other boys.

"um y-yes that was me, I'm sorry about that I was checking the time on my phone an-"

"You don't have to apologize" he chuckled cutting off my rambling. i sighed in relief mentally thanking him. "what did you say your name was again?" he asks putting his cigarette.

"Makenna" I say looking up at him swallowing hard, his dark brown eyes were intimidating. he was starring me down, almost analyzing me like a computer would. I shift uncomfortably and he looks back at my eyes.

"Mines Justin" he says licking his lips looking away and coughing into his sleeve. He taps Jakob on the shoulder and whispers into his ear. Jakob nods and tells the other guys. "I'll see you around" he smirks at me then he turns around and takes off.

"see you tomorrow in class" Jakob smiles at me then walks off with Justin and the other boys. I give them a small smile even tho they can't see me. Once they're out of my sight my smile got bigger, I collected all of my things and finished my orange juice before tossing it in the recycling bin.

——

I walked into my math class and took my assigned seat at the back. I took out my calculator, pencil, binder, and textbook placing them neatly on my desk.

"hey um.." a girl whispered tapping the side of my desk. I look over at her with a confused expression. Why is she talking to me? "are the girl who was talking to those guys at lunch?" I nod slowly, why does she care? "what's your name?" she asks.

"Makenna" I say, but as soon as I say it I regret it. She's probably gonna go around making fun of me, starring rumours, saying anything. Then I definitely won't have any friends here.