Lust vs Love (Jiva Fanfic)

Chapter 14

Nathan and Jay were sat in Nathan's car. Jay didn't want to go back into his flat, it only reminded him of when Siva was there, and every horrible thing that occurred before and after.

"How long did you suffer from anorexia?" Nathan asked.

"I don't know," Jay breathed. "Probably a decade or less."

Nathan nodded his head. He knew no other way to respond. "How did it affect you?"

"I was very insecure... I still kind of am. I wasn't quite myself with the illness. Actually, I wasn't myself at all. I was depressed and lonely. Sure I had friends and family, but they didn't know about me, nor would they have understood my issues. So, I felt lonely."

"Would you hurt yourself?"

"Starving hurt, but I got use to the pain. When I did, I started burning myself with scorching water."

Nathan winced at the thought.

Jay twiddled his thumbs. "I've started up with that again."

Nathan clenched his jaw. He couldn't bear to hear Jay's confessions.

"I started the morning after I broke up with Seev. It was the only thing that could elude my worries and how I felt, or feel rather."

"How do you feel?"

"Like my shell's been broken. I feel naked and vulnerable to the world."

"Ahhh, such a wonderful feeling that is," Nathan said sarcastically.

"You've experienced that feeling?"

"I have. It was horrible."

"How'd you get rid of it?"

"I never gave up on myself. I just kept chasing after my dreams. The words that hurt me didn't stop me. The way people looked at me in disgust didn't stop me. Because, I knew I was destined to live a good life, and I wouldn't let anyone ruin that for me.

Look where I am now. I'm in The eff-ing Wanted!"

Jay chuckled. Nathan smiled at the sound.

"Let's go somewhere," Jay suggested.

"Where would we go?"

"Anywhere away from here. I want out of London."

"Right, well let's get the hell out of here then."

He sent a smile to Jay, and Jay returned one.

"Off we go!" Nathan announced.

•••

Jay and Nathan turned up in front of Jay's parent's house in Newark-on-Trent. They stepped out of the car.

"Jay? Nathan?" Jay's mother, Maureen was sat on her front porch. She got up from her rocking chair and rushed over to them with open arms and a a huge grin. She gave them the standard breath stifling mom hug.

"Oh how I've missed you boys!" She finally set them free, letting them grasp for air.

Jay laughed. "I missed you too, Mum."

Maureen brushed a strand of hair from Jay's face and admired how small his blue eye would get when he beamed with joy.

"What brought you guys here?" Jay opened his mouth to respond, but Maureen cut him off. "Oh never mind that. Come inside and have a beer!"

The boys laughed as they followed her into the cozy home. They sat down at the bar in the kitchen as she fetched them the last two bottles of Heineken she had.