the quiet ° phan

iv. manifest

In the coming days, Dan had fallen into the same routine. He would meet Phil before school, go to classes with him, sit at lunch with him, ogle the elusive squad's table, go to more classes, and repeat the cycle the next day.

Today, that changed. It all started in English class when Dan and Phil sat down in their spots. They were early, as usual, talking about the newest episode of their favorite anime. Zoe sat next to Dan again and Phil gave her a look, but he didn't say anything about it.

Mr. Schneider started class with the same smug look plastered on his face, his hands clasped together.

"It's the second week of school, so it's time for some serious business: your first project. You'll be writing a 20-page short story about the thing that you most fear. This is a partner project, so you'll be combining both of your worst fears into the central concept for your story. This should be in 3rd person, not 1st person. I don't want to read 20 pages of whining about bugs; I want a creative story that incorporates your fears. Now get started."

"Want to work together?" Zoe asked as soon as their teacher shut his mouth.

Before Dan could think of how to respond, Phil interjected.

"Actually, I think Dan and I are going to be partners. Right, Dan?"

Dan sat there completely dumbstruck. His brain wasn't processing a word either of them said.

"Dan?"

Sorry, Dan signed to Phil. He slowly pointed at Zoe to show his choice.

"Great," Zoe said. "Oh, sorry, Phil."

He just shook his head and made his way to the other side of the room where the other partnerless peers stood. Through his peripheral vision, Dan thought he saw sadness in Phil's eyes, but only for a second. Chances were it was a mirage, anyway.

"So, Dan," Zoe said, snapping him back to reality, "what's your biggest fear? Mine would have to be vomit. I have anxiety and vomit embodies the feeling I get from it. It's like drowning in a pool of these things you can't digest or deal with. Plus, vomiting just makes my anxiety even worse and it's such a terrible feeling. No one wants to vomit in front of a crowd; I know I've had panic attacks from thinking that would happen to me."

She slid him a pencil and paper to respond. Zoe's fear was so valid for her situation, even if it seemed like nothing to everyone else. She knew exactly what triggered her anxiety and what made her worry most. Dan started thinking...what was his biggest fear? He couldn't speak with sounds, couldn't communicate, and was very limited in what he could experience. Then, he remembered what scared him the most.

His biggest fear was the dark. When the lights went out, he was left alone with his thoughts and nothing to distract him. Dan had no control over anything lurking in the shadows. Worst of all was that, if anything were to happen to him at night, he wouldn't be able to scream for help. The unknown that surfaced when darkness took over and the feeling of not being able to speak while drowning in a sea of blackness scared him more than anything else.

Dan didn't detail all of that. He just wrote down, "the dark" and looked at Zoe. She didn't question him. She just nodded knowing that there was probably a logical explanation behind his fear.

For the rest of class, Dan wrote down the ideas Zoe pitched to him. He elaborated a bit more when writing down her thoughts, but it didn't feel like he was doing all the work. Pretty soon, the bell rang, forcing Dan to scribble the last words down and collect his stuff.