How It Feels To Chew 5 Gum

HOW IT FEELS TO CHEW 5 GUM

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IT'S ALL ABOUT TO CHANGE.

I had what can only be described as a "trip" when I tasted the phenomenon that is 5 Gum. I understood what I saw for the first time in 30 years. I felt like I knew what I was supposed to do. I could hear for miles. I tasted the air; the intricacies were much heavier than I imagined. My mind was folding over, unable to contemplate the way I felt. It was sudden, and it was glorious.

I wanted more. I felt the feeling start to weaken. The overwhelming effects of the 5 Gum were too sudden. I had no time to be able to process them before they finished. Once it was over, I felt insufficient, like I needed a boost. I needed more 5 Gum. 5 Gum made me feel alive for the first time in so long. It's almost hard to believe that I ever lived without it. I decided that the next day, I would retrieve a package of 5 Gum

The next day I went to the local Country Fair with the thought of 5 Gum in my mouth, when suddenly, I felt a strange sensation in my pants, and realized that I was whizzing in my trousers because of the thought of 5 Gum. I immediately ran to the bathroom, hoping no-one had seen me whizz myself in the middle of a convenience store. After I cleaned up the blood, I realized I also was having my man-period, and immediately punched the area of the bleeding in an attempt to constrict it. I used some low-grade paper towels to wipe up all the blood and fecal matter from myself. I exited the bathroom, embarrassed as I could ever be, waiting for the very minute I was able to indulge in 5 Gum again. When I got to the counter to buy the 5 Gum I realized that I didn't have enough money, so I immediately stuffed the gum in my anus and told the cashier to go to sleep. He was not happy. I ran out of the store, terrified as ever, carrying a pack of analy-reformed gum. The gum was sleek as ever, I couldn't wait to indulge in a piece of crap-covered 5 Gum. When I got home my mom was being raped on the couch. I had to save her somehow. I realized the only thing that could make me strong enough was the 5 Gum. I analy inserted a piece of 5 Gum to let it go to the brain quicker, and then I became "me" again. because of the dank taste of the 5 Gum in the mouth, I was able to literally beat the crap out of the rapist, and my mother and I are lucky to both walk away from the situation with only minor anal injuries.

I woke up the next morning with a massive headache. I believe it was the 5 Gum. I lifted my head. Everything seemed to ache. My head, my back, my anus, working in tandem to deliver pain and suffering. I decided to attempt to wake up my mother. I figured she would have some migraine medicine to stop the headache. To my delight, she was awake. I stepped into the kitchen, waiting for a delightful greeting from my mother. My mother looked at me with a strange, almost rapey face.

"Do you know what you did last night?" mom asked.

"No" I said.

"You almost killed me" she said.

"Gnarly" I said.

"Do you know how serious this is? You could have lost your mother!" mom said.

"Listen, I wasn't acting myself because I didn't have my 5 Gum in a while, that is all." I said.

"It was the 5 Gum that made you act that way, dear!" mom said. "WAKE UP!" she said, quieter this time.

"I feel like I'm not myself without my 5 Gum." I said. "I feel like I'm alive when I have it."

"If alive means fierce, and rapey, than I don't want to be alive!" mom said.